Allow me to crack even

No posts in just under two months. This isn’t because I’m dead, or I’ve given up writing, infact, I enjoy writing, and occasionally maths! (Except circle theorem.) No, it has simply been due to my sheer apathy and laziness. I don’t want a career in journalism, writing, or anything near that area of expertise, and so this made me have no drive or push to write. However, I want to keep writing simply for the few people who do read this, and intense rivalry (And unfortunately not a friendly kind) for a particular someone, despite the odds being low that he/she/it reads this. But that guy knows who he is.

So allow me to update you on what interesting bits i’ve been doing.

Nothing. I got back into Mass Effect, then back out of it, bought and begun Fallout 3, bought Deus Ex, haven’t started it yet, completed Plants vs Zombies, getting killing floor relatively soon, and an xbox 360, just to play with a few mates casually and the exclusives which us PC Aryans can’t get, like RE5 and Gears of War 2. And of course, Guitar Hero.

That’s what i’ve been up to. I’m considering moving to Blogspot or a different blogging thing, as wordpress is somewhat crap and fails to upload any of my pictures, therefore making each post a chore to read. Honestly, it’s worse then my cooking. (Everything I cook goes wrong somehow. I misinterpretted a chocolate cake recipe once and accidentally added 3 tablespoons of baking soda as opposed to 3 tea spoons. The cake didn’t even cook and I left it in the garden for some pigeons.)

I have twitter if you’re slightly interested in my shorter ramblings and spoutings of stuff, and I update that more regularly because it’s not boring to use like WordPress. My final words before I go and do something or the other, is that If this blog goes down, I’ll atleast have the dignity to post.  I wish I had a picture to put in this post BUT IT WON’T FREAKIN’ UPLOAD D:

Scary Games aren’t scary.

Two games I’ve played recently, Bioshock and Dead Space. Neither have scared me. A couple have startled me, when let’s say a necromorph or splicer leapt up at me when it looked dead, but not scared me. According to Wiktionary, the fancy man’s dictionary, the definition of frighten is: To disturb with fear; to throw into a state of alarm or fright; to affright; to terrify.

They’ve startled me, in a brief installment of fear, but not frighten me, in a continued state. Maybe I’m just too dead inside to be frightened, or maybe I’m not absorbed into the game enough. Probably the latter. Because when I played Bioshock, or play Dead Space, especially Dead Space as it’s third person, I don’t feel like i’m there in the game, I feel tuned out, because I’m looking over someone’s shoulder commanding him. If my character is low on health, i’m not worried because I know I can just load if I die.

Bioshock as a first person, is slightly different, but in general it wasn’t frightening. It was definitely confusing though, when Andrew Ryan [Warning: MASSIVE, GARGANTUAN SPOILERS FOR BIOSHOCK] makes you kill him, honestly, what’s the point and why? The script was good too, but not scary, because I knew had I the superhuman powers to melt everyone in my path and enough placcids to turn a goat into some biochemical super mutant. [/END OF SPOILERS.]

I now must describe a typical scene is bioshock, as Imageshack won’t let me upload pictures.

Dead Big Daddy. 7 Medkits, 7 Plasmid syringes left.  Enough ammo to take on the Kremlin. $300. Easy, easy stuff. Especially once you get the chemical thrower, and some electric gel, Big Daddies are as easier then having mutually consented sex with a bagel.

Dead Space at the moment, I’m on chapter 5,  just starting, so the best bits are to come apparently. There have been some brilliantly atmospheric bits so far, setting the scene. The scene in Chapter 2 where you slowly go down stairs, hearing a dulled repeated knocking sound, expecting a necromorph to leap up and start slashing your face into a bloody pool on the floor, is flawlessly done. When you finally turn that corner to see what’s causing the knocking sound, is a scene I won’t forget because of how well it was done.

However one thing I have noticed I’ve been doing in dead space is to constantly hold down the scopes whenever I turn a corner, just incase. That doesn’t constitute fear does it?

Well, Fuck.

IN REALTIME, TOO!

Just before the race started, too late to change my bet… My horse’s odds jumped from 66-1 to 100-1.

SHIT. But it’s not the end of the world, the horse which won today was 100-1.

THEY’RE OFF. My horse is coming up the back apparently… I’m 4th..ish. But being overtaken. Bollocks. And City Theatre is doing well. Fuck.

As you can see, gambling makes me swear alot.

Now I’m 7th place. FUCK FUCK FUCK. KEEP GOING. OR ATLEAST BEAT THAT BASTARD CITY THEATRE.

Saviero is doing well. oooo, I think I’m catching up. YES. CITY THEATRE IS DOING BAD. Saviero could win, it’s leading now.

COCKMUNCHERFUCKNIBBLES. We’re doing badly. I’ve lost my horse too, TALK ABOUT CAESAR’S RETURN. NOBODY CARES ABOUT LIDAR.

Sitting Tennant won at 66-1 atleast. Let’s hit refresh on the page to see how badly I did. Lucky Him. I didn’t even think about that one. Will have results in 60 seconds….

So this year, there were some big winners. 100-1, 66-1 and 66-1 again. And why are they talking about having Curry for Dinner on the Coral Aintree betting radio. GIVE ME MY RESULTS. STOP TALKING YOU FUCKING PIKEES.

Ah here we go.  … … ..

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

So I missed the Grand National…big whoop.

Yes, very big whoop. Words cannot describe how disgruntled I am for not betting. The horse which won, was at 100-1, so if I was smart enough to bet £10 on that horse, I would have won £1000. The internet’s gritty times new roman font can’t do any justice to how rage-ridden I am for forgetting. I wouldn’t have minded betting and losing, because atleast I kept up my yearly tradition of betting…

So, as a replacement, I’ve just stuck £5 each way on Caesar’s Return for the 5.35pm at Aintree, coming in at 66-1. My mind says bet on City Theatre, because odds are decent, and it’s quite similar to Caesar’s Return kit wise and horse-wise…But my gut and heart say Caesar’s Return. So Caesar’s Return it is!

Now, City Theatre may be Irish, and i’ve always had good luck with Irish horses, but…Caesar’s Return…Has a good feeling.

Infact, maybe I should have bet on both. too late now, 12 minutes to go.

Come on Caesar’s Return, because I will be thoroughly pissed off if you lose. And bear in mind, I’m already thoroughly pissed off for missing the main Grand National. I’ll post back to see whether I won or lost.

That was quick

Yup, very shortly after the severe blunder of the scout update, here comes the first sniper update. Yet another fucking consumable. Sort of.

But will this update make him any more effective against a spy? I hope not because that would suck. In place of his Kukri, he should get a little piece of metal, like all snipers get, to shine into people’s eyes and blind them. Or some sort of decoy, like a paper cut out of a sniper. It makes more sense then the sniper decoy spray.

I ordered Dead Space, as it’s now at a sweet and harmonious price of £12, lets hope it bloody arrives this time. Might get Men of War, and Might get Empire: Total War, seeing as I don’t have a good RTS excluding World in Conflict, and I doubt i’ll get the expansion for that.

I played a buttload of Guitar Hero: World Tour over the weekend, possibly far, FAR too much, but it was worth it. And I feel like I didn’t play enough. That was fun. So all in all, maybe for the next update, we’ll get our new gamemode we were promised, and we’ll get our “meet the” video.

But more then anything else, I’m hoping we don’t get a crap class pack, which fucks up the whole game. Again.

EDIT: Oh bollocks. That could have been an april fool’s joke. Well it’s the second today, so it doesn’t count.

A trailer!?

I’m no movie critic. Nor do I care about stupid French film festivals, where the winner tends to be some mind-numbing dramatic piece of crap, where nobody talks but everyone pretends to. I found “You Don’t Mess With The Zohan” funny. In my defense it’s because most of it is true, and being Jewish and have cousins in Israel I can see how true it is.  Adam Sandler may have been in it, but damnit, it was good! The accent was spot on.

But moving away from comedies which many people don’t get, I saw a trailer for a comedy people will get. I like politics, don’t ask why, so a comedy film about politics sounds good to me. The icing on the cake is the fact that it’s a British comedy, meaning it won’t have those pesky Americans failing humor by slipping penis jokes into everything, penetrating the rules of comedy.

And raping wit.

I also like it because it appears to have Frank Skinner in, and he’s good in Have I Got News For You. Anyway, when does HIGNFY start again? My life feels bland and meaningless without it. So without further rambling off the subject, here is the trailer, and don’t take my word for it, think for yourself.

See? Not bad Anyway, FRAPS decided not to save my Bioshock pictures, so i’ll snap up as much as possible before I finish it, although it keeps giving me Snow…Which is bloody irratating as it doesn’t autosave. I bought Red Orchestra for £2.99 and to be honest, even at the price, it’s not worth it. And finally, I might give Crysis: Warhead a brief run through for the thousanth time, because it’s pretty

Why?

The reason why I’ve done no posts for a while, is because I have nothing to post on…

So i’ve ripped out good ol’ worms armegeddon for old times sake which I’ll play a tad, and I just installed Bioshock. I’m borrowing it off my brother in law, and although extremely old, and everyone’s played it, I’ll write about it in a way nobody has written about it before! And that will win me originality points!

Until then…Here is an advice dog generator to keep you amused.

I just wish my battlefield heroes thingy would be accepted

It’s likely i’m going to buy a new game soon though, I just haven’t been bothered. And a sound card. Mine has been stuttering recently a little bit…

Instead of a proper post-

Will post later, this will have to do for now. Done by me a couple of weeks ago. Scratched because its negatives not good colour photography…

Meanwhile, the landscape photos are all squished together.

More on the scout…

Before I’m back to the monotony of non-gaming news. Where’s our “meet the” video and new gamemode we were promised? Anyway, I disliked all the acheivments, the one where you have to double jump 1000 times for example. Why not just be honest and say “Hit spacebar 2000 times”?

So I did get all the achievments, but I’m most proud of the fact  I got the tauntkill one, on 2fort, not planned at all. However, allowing the consumer to do a vote on which item comes out first was stupid, it meant you had to do a pile of annoying grindy acheivments to unlock the weapons, which make up 70% of the rest of the acheivments.

Still, it beats those cockwhores who chose to use an unlocker.

Big mistake Valve.

“Spies can now control which weapon the enemy team sees them holding. Hitting the “last disguise” key while disguised updates the disguise to show the Spy’s currently held weapon.” In the patch.

It’s a simple move, but just…no…

Now it’s too easy to be a spy. Also, most of these achievments are too difficult to get in general. But i’ll comment on them more later.

Let’s Begin Again

For those previous regulars, this again, is my blog. Except this time it’s on my own because J-man decided to delete the previous blog in it’s entirety for no reason, apart from the fact he’s a traitorous, whiny, backstabbing, wingey, pathetic, useless coward.

BUT – For those new people, before on the other blog it was generally a TF2 blog, then lapsed into general PC gaming and other kinds of gaming. Then, it would run into anything interesting, which is what I intend to pioneer with this blog. Anything interesting, funny, or entertaining, I’ll post here, so long as it’s not boring or something you see every other blog post. That will include… Gamining, Music, Movies, Some science and techy stuff and generically funny unrelated to anything kind of posts.

Completely open to suggestions, and I know this is a bit basic right now, but i’ll make sure I make this blog good. 

For example, I’m just finishing off Far Cry 2, and will have Dead Space tomorrow (hopefully if the British Postage Royal Mail system works properly) while i’m always listening to music, (From mainstream or leftfield) and I even like politics.

I’m not a fan of posting To Do Lists, but this one is neccessary for now

So, you name, I will have it soon. (Note the future tense )

Yes, sure, this is doomed to fail miserably because it’s a blog on the internet, but atleast I can have 10 minutes of fun writing it.

Jumping on the Bandwagon

A Barack Obama or Amercanianenan Elections in general post. Well, kudos to Barack Obama winning. Like the majority of young people I supported him to, even if I joked about supporting Roger Calero.

Of course, it doesn’t affect me much; although here in the UK it affects everyone somehow, it won’t have direct effects on me. Politics are interesting, but thank god it’s all over. I don’t think I could of stood any more of John McCain’s speech muck-ups (for example, “Joe the Plumber is here today, Joe, please stand up! ….Joe where are you? ……he said he’d be here. Okay, Joes not here but you can all be Joe the Plumber!” and the classic, “my opponent Barack Obama has been saying some pretty negative things about North Carolina, *crowd boos* and I couldn’t agree with him more. … .. I mean, I couldn’t disagree with him, I mean agree with you people here, more.”)

And I don’t even need to get into Sarah Palin. Did you know there are action figures made of her? The most ironic is that theres a stereotype sex-role-play Schoolgirl action figure of Ms-Don’t-teach-science-in-school-instead-teach-non-proven-bible-stories.

That is a real action figure. $29.95. 

Also rearing off topic briefly, she’s strongly anti-abortion. However, if the baby they saved for the mother who couldn’t handle the baby and comitted suicide so the baby is an orphan turned out to be homosexual when he grew up, would she still fight for his rights? ….Why force the mother to have a child if she’s not ready? (easy now this isn’t all about abortions. P.S I can argue both sides of the argument on this matter. )

But who the heck likes Sarah Palin? Shes the most obscure governer, and the only reason I think McCain chose her was because he wanted some of the Hillary supporters to head over the the Republican side. Or maybe he is senile, and he made a horrible mistake. Yes, I could make sex jokes here about Palin and McCain but where would be the originality in that?

When McCain lost, and he congratulated Obama, and gave his condolences to him for his Grandmother, people seemed fairly impressed, and so atleast McCain left with his self-respect and dignity. But when Palin said her bit, it was all teary-eyed. And now the devil-spawn heads back to Alaska, where Russia is so close, she can also learn judo with Vladmir Putin!

On the radio, they were reading out people’s views, and some bastard said “The next 4 years will be pure hell for everyone.” Now let me state this bluntly. No, not everyone is a racist, so it won’t be hell. Also, with Obama you can’t make funny jokes about his stupidity and crap speaking, because he’s an awesome speaker and should do voice-overs and hes not stupid. Also, anyone interested in this person’s reasoning to why Barack’s next 4 years will damage the whole world? ……….Well he had no reasons, he just hung up.

But once again, good job Barack Obama, i’m sure you’ll do a good job. On Bush’s final day he should say, Men in Black style, “You know the difference between you and me? I make this look good.”

Call of Duty World at War Beta Impressions

Well, to say the least, i’m impressed.

But for those who want to read more. The weapons are great, and as with all games, the maps take a little bit to get used to. Even though I’ve only played 3 maps with everyone else who has the beta, they’re all extremely good. (Except Makin, which is moderate.)

My favourite thing about the game, is how you’re bodies limbs are actually glued together with pritt stick. For example, any explosion will detach your limbs and leave and impressive but bloody corpse. Theres a challenge where you have to fall 30ft to your doom, so to do that, I jumped off somewhere on “Roundhouse” and as I landed and died, my legs fell off. Oh, and shotguns blow people’s limbs off too.

The weapons are great, and again, perks and class custimation make it genuinely fun. However, what’s the point of the bayonet addition if you can use a knife? And the addition of tanks was a very good thing, as they’re perfectly balanced, unless you go in the machine gunner position when a sniper can hit you with a shotgun from a mile off. Also, for PC, Treyarch added the nice touch of mod support.

But all in all, i’m very impressed, and the developers did a great job. I just hope the full game is as good as the 3-map beta.

NOOOOOO

My precious Call of Duty Beta ran out
Too bad, I was really enjoying it. Also, Dead Space which I ordered a week ago still hasn’t arrived, so as a result of that I have been unable to review it.

So instead, I review. A Cheese Toastie. Fairly good, the cheese was excellent, strong mature english cheddar, really the only cheese I like. Edam is too plasticky, while camembert is too gooey. So i’m trying to think what else to put into this post, so i’ll just tell you what’s what.

As my 0-2 regular viewers may have noticed, I added a blogroll. Yeah, I’m not a huge fan of blogrolls, but i’ve linked to my friends site and he’s done more or less the same, so each of our 2 viewers can view one another. I’m also going to instantly assume that one of my regulars, is probably J-man, the person who i’ve linked to. Well, nevermind.

So let’s pray Dead Space comes soon, or some interesting things happen or i’ll have to post more about cheese toasties. But just for people to know, here is my recipe for cheese toasties.

What You need:

A Plate, Some Mature English Cheddar Cheese, A Toaster, Two Slices of Bread, a Knife, a Microwave.

1. Cut some cheddar cheese, and put it on the plate.

2. Put the cheese in the microwave for 30-45 seconds.

3. At the same time, toast your bread.

4. When both are done, while the cheese is still warm and gooey, scrape it off the plate between the two slices of toast.

Also,  A warm mug full of English Breakfast Tea is a perfect accompanient. I like Tea

P.S Comment if you wanna suggest something. Anything. Feel free to say how much I suck, too.

Still waiting…

As I’m still waiting for Dead Space to bloody arrive, I thought I’d share some of my finer images I have collected over the years of perusing the Interwebs. Hopefully, you should see something new. And please note, Motifakes are usually unfunny. I mean, you have a funny image, and you can come up with why it’s funny in your head, but why wear a joke to the ground with an obvious, and generically unfunny caption?

The Above two pictures sum up the whole of America below the midway line, from a European point of view. Gun-toting illilterate, science-hating maniacs, drinkin’ der moonshine, while havin’ a hootenanny/hoedown, who believe that God will smite all homosexuals and obliterate them off the earth. Meanwhile, the north is all overly-liberal, crazy theoretical freedom fighters. Moving on, one more point to milk the joke -

Meanwhile, summing up the north-

Despite it says it’s taking place in Georgia.

Yeah, I have a massive list of why America sucks, but thats for posting another time, it’s too long for now. P.S, if you’re American and i’ve offended you, don’t worry, things are sure to turn around next year with Barack Obama in charge!

4chan-tastic

4chan is the ass of the internet. No, it is a pimple, on the ass of the internet. 

It’s that guy who stumbles into your grandmothers funeral with 2 hookers, drunk.

The twat who gets you dump your girlfriend, gets you drunk, steals your money and makes you return home at 4am in the morning, when you should be at home studying the night before your end university degree exams in the same day.

But once every 100 years, with the correct sacrifice, they can produce something good. And this, is it.

Meanwhile, having to entertain myself with flash games because Dead Space still hasn’t arrived, I came across this neat little one. Difficult, but makes you feel smart for playing it.

http://www.notdoppler.com/theimpossiblequiz.php

Finally, I don’t want my 3 regular people (it used to be 2. But now it’s 3. YAAAY.) to think “This guy sucks, all he’s posting is links and images!” Because I would be posting something good but, DEAD SPACE HASN’T FLIPPING ARRIVED.

I would like to make one final note. I did not make the stuff above. Now the lawyers don’t need to get involved.

Regular posting will resume soon, WHEN FRICKIN’ DEAD SPACE ARRIVES. Or i’ll review GRID, Far Cry 2, Crysis Borehead which I reviewed on the old blog but it got deleted along J-man’s self respect OMG ZINGER (that reference NEEDED to be included) P.S if Bobic ever finds himself on here, please feel free to make a comment so I can ban your IP.

The Great Bus Driver Conspiracy

Bus drivers tend to be assholes. The government hires assholes only as the bus drivers, the majority who don’t speak english, and let’s them be twats.

Do I have a reason for this outburst you ask? Numerous reasons, actually.

For one, today I was getting on a bus, and the bastard closed the doors on me, directly after someone just got on. Not just me, two people. So i had to get a different bus, which means I have to walk for 10 minutes to get home, as opposed to 2. Not only that, he shut the doors so hastily, he trapped someones bag in the door and refused to open, and the women had to tug her bag out. Who knows, that women could of had a £10,000 Japanese Lucky Cat in her bag, and it could be divided into two now!

But that’s not the worst. One time, a bus driver smiled at me with a smirk of evilness as he drove off with a smug look of self-satisfaction on his poor excuse for a face.

Now, just because Bus drivers are bus drivers, the children of prostitutes and crack addicts, it doesn’t mean they have to take thier problems out on us, the regular people. What’s more is that these bastards regurlarly go on strike, and are never bloody on time. So the fact they have the insolence to abuse us poor consumers, just because they know we have no alternative to get around is ridiculous.

More problems with buses. They always break down, and theres always an angry looking old women staring at you from the other side with a look of dissatisfactory as if to say that all people below the age of 50 are disrespectful for walking on the pavement. During the summer, they’re too hot, and during the winter, they’re even hotter. So to make my argument vaild,

Next time and every time I hail a bus, I’m using my middle finger.

Quantum of Solace Review

I saw Quantum of Solace, and in my Quantum of negativity, i’m going to be blunt and realistic and give it my pessimistic verdict.

Now for those other people who have seen it, you have to agree with me, THERE WAS NO PLOT. No, don’t try and convince me otherwise, the bad guys as with all bad guys in James Bond movies have incomprehensible accents, and therefore I didn’t see the plot. All I found out was that a big healthy coporation called Green Planet, hellbent on saving the world’s eco-systems during global warming, bought a spot of land in the Bolivian desert and for some reason the water turns into oil.

People say, “I like how the Bond Girl wasn’t just some girl who wanted to jump into bed with James Bond, but had a backstory of revenge!” Well, I didn’t. All males admire James Bond for his womanizing skills, as we do with Fidel Castro, and another point, many of us imagine how cool it would be if we were James Bond. So the fact that all he has to do to get a women into bed is look at her, can only enhance the effect.

So when this new Bond Girl turns up with a story and purpose, I was angry that she didn’t want to jump into bed with him for no reason, and re-enforce women stereotypes. Now, i’m all for equal rights and feminism, (Not feminazis who goose-step around and complain about what pigs all men are for existing) but the point of a bond film is suppose to be fantasy. That why he always lives to knock down another villain, and knock up another girl. Although this contradicts what I said above, I stand by both statements.

As i’ve seen Indiana Jones and The Temple of the Crystal Raiders of the Last Crusade, I know crazy storylines. I personally liked the newest one, because it’s storyline was so weird and wonderful and made so little sense, it was a romp-tastic brilliant film. (OHMYGOD, I’M BEING POSTIVE!) It crossed the line of stupid storylines, but kept the decent light-heartedness right the way through, and left me with a smile on my face. 

However, Quantum of Solace TRIED to have a storyline which wasn’t too stupid, and tried to be serious. I blamed Daniel Craig for this. He never smiles, and has ruined James Bond because of that, and also he doesn’t say funny puns when he kills a baddie. For example, there were numerous times in that film where he killed someone, and I could think of a witty line. At the beginning, when he spins on the rope in a ballet style, he could of said “that was a TRICKY situation.” or “DAMN, I KICK ASS!” I’ll admit i’m not the master of funny puns, but he could of atleast said something.

Don’t even get me started on the theme song. The theme song is appauling. The White Stripes are the most over-rated crap band on the planet. I can make better music then them, and you can too, with my White Stripes Music creator!

Step 1: Tap out a basic, slow, monotonous beat on something.

Step 2: In a hyperactive whiny voice, start singing about the most blaitent things in the room, for example, table, and what you think about a table.

Step 3: With this word/phrase, sing it very fast, so it is impossible for other people to understand what you’re whining about, and loop it over and over.

Step 4: Perform all these steps together, for 4 minutes, and you have a White Stripes song! Good job!

So moving on, I hate movie critics, everything they say is wrong. They review a fancy french film, everyone gives it 5 stars, and then you go to the cinema, at sit through 2 and a half hours of black and white boredom, with a man who unzips himself to reveal a stool, in which a cherry sits in the centre neatly. Then too zoomed into an attractive women’s eye, she will shed a single tear, in which a water fountain then a small wooden duck is shown.  Movie Critics reviewed Quantum of Solace fairly well, because it had big explosions. If you hold a lighter to your buttocks, and fart, it will explode. BUT PEOPLE DON’T GIVE ME A STANDING OVATION/STANDING OVULATION FOR THIS.

Infact, if you think about it in my trademarked cynical way, Cinemas are a big waste of time. You pay £10 for your ticket, £10 for a small bucket of popcorn, and £5 for a small drink. Total rip off, and us as the proletariat consumers have no other options. This is why the global economy is down the shithole. CINEMAS AND NEO-NAZIS ARE TO BLAME! So, at a cinema you pay atleast £25 for 2hrs of entertainment. Some people say “You’re missing out on the atmosphere!”

….Really? Atmosphere you say? huh, I always thought the atmosphere was the global climate of gases around the planet. But of course, I can easily be wrong. Let me check Wikipedia, (I swear to god, I will permaban anyone who says “NO D00D WIKIPEDIA IS INACURUT ND RONG ALWAYS”.)

An atmosphere (from Greek ατμός - atmos, “vapor” + σφαίρα - sphaira, “sphere“) is a layer of gases that may surround a material body of sufficient mass,^[1] by the gravity of the body, and are retained for a longer duration if gravity is high and the atmosphere’s temperature is low. Some planets consist mainly of various gases, and therefore have very deep atmospheres (see gas giants).

The term stellar atmosphere is used for the outer region of a star, and typically includes the portion starting from the opaque photosphere outwards. Relatively low-temperature stars may form compound molecules in their outer atmosphere. Earth’s atmosphere, which contains oxygen used by most organisms for respiration and carbon dioxide used by plants, algae and cyanobacteria for photosynthesis, also protects living organisms from genetic damage by solar ultraviolet radiation. Its current composition is the product of billions of years of biochemical modification of the paleoatmosphere by living organisms.

So, by that definition, do cinema’s have atmosphere? No, Do restaurants have atmosphere? No. but Jupiter has an atmosphere. BUT CINEMAS DO NOT! 

When I payed good money to see Quantum of Sausage I expected something good, not something comparable to someone coating my eyes in a steaming pile of Cow Faeces. I payed money in the hope that I could sit back and enjoy a movie, from a comfortable seat. What I didn’t know is that I was really paying money to have to put up with some bastard in the top corner laughing ANYTHING, and having some stupid group of babies throwing cans and popcorn at each other. 

In a Utopian society, Cinema’s will exist, but be enforced by a facist group of secret police, so we can all enjoy the film, in a nice atmosphere. (see above for definition of atmosphere.)

Nothing can annoy me!

I’ve been playing the Left4Dead demo a fair bit, and excluding the fact that I can never find a server which isn’t crazily laggy for me, I quite like it. But some people say it’s scary. Well, if it’s scary, do what I do! 

Some of you may know what YTMND is, and how they have a classic meme of “wondeful time”. It spawned from this YTMND animation and the music was by Tiny Tim. You’ll all agree that’s uplifting vaguely funny music. So, if you mix the hardcore zombie busting with a loop of that music, you have my recipe for some fun hardcore zombie busting.

Just wait until L4D finds it’s way into GMOD, and they’ll be loads more YTMNDs. Too bad I only have the free version of Gmod 9. Also, you may have noticed I added Peterd102 onto my blogroll, and if you didn’t now you have.

Update:

Yes, and I have officially made the internet that tiny bit worse. http://www.witchwonderfultime.ytmnd.com/

(Even though this witch jumped on my face and I died.)

…And as the L4D demo runs out-

I reflect upon the past 4 days i”ve played, enjoyed and said “WHAT? Your mic is way too weak, turn it up or somthing!”

Yep, that game is brilliant. I ordered it from play.com ages ago, because it was cheaper then steam. Lets hope they don’t fuck up like they did with Dead Space. (Which still hasn’t arrived)

I just hope that a) I can play the second level without crashing (apparently it’s a common problem) and b) theres a server browser without me having to add things into the console. Just because xbox people can’t choose thier server, doesn’t mean we have to suffer too. I’ve had to play on crap servers, with abysmal lag because I couldn’t choose my own server.

So on the subject of music, I  have made a music post, which is weird because whenever I play any game, I tend to have music on. I wanted to share an old song, but a song many of you (and by many i refer to the few people who actually read what I post) that I really, really like.

Because the music I like is difficult to get ahold of, expensive, and requires a record player, (and I don’t own a record player……yet,) I just use LastFM because it has most songs, for free and you can listen to single songs without downloading them off limewire. Normally when I play games though, I have either one of my own playlists on or the BBC Radio Iplayer on because sometimes LastFM will stop for no apparent reason. But back to the main point, the song, is this. To play it just hit the big play button in the small box to the right. If you want to know the genre for the music, it boxes into Electro-jazz/ Nu-Jazz and Broken Beats.

Moving swiftly on, I finished the single player in Far Cry 2 the other day, (and I have played multiplayer, but the maps suck and the whole game mode is confusing and unexplained; at least Crysis’s power struggle game mode was explained, and once you learn it, it’s great) and if you haven’t finished, I don’t want to give any spoilers, just make sure you kill all you’re friends, all you’re employers, and infact, have the AI’s approach. If it moves, kill it. 

I also thought it was particularly stupid how at the very end, it gives a kind of movie like synopsis/finish. Yes, fine, I like the idea of the blue pill/red pill moment of choosing dynamite or diamonds, but I don’t understand why the guy who takes the diamonds has to shoot himself in the head. Perhaps all the characters talk too fast. OHWAITTHEYDO. But the final moments of martyrdom we’re ruined as I had just read J-man’s review of Madagascar 2, and trekking through the final dramatic part of the jungle with an essence of melancholy and completion, was ruined by me continously imagining that rabied-infested lemur you’re greeted with when you open up J-man’s review. 

So when I get left 4 dead, I plan to review it day by day, piece by piece, because I hate writing massive chunks/blocks of text, which is too imtimidating to read anyway.

Aahh

It may be just me, but a few wordpress blogs i’ve visited seem to be all in HTML. Maybe it’s because I use the glorious browser known as google chrome, which incidentally doesn’t play videos. (yet.)

But if anyone else has that problem, i’ll see how I can fix it, if it’s just me, screw it.

Lamest post ever.

Yes, I apologise for this post. It is so abysmal and lame but I like to make updates.

I BELIVE YOU HAVE MY STAPLER?

 

No matter how many time I look at that picture it makes me laugh because of the YTMND fad of it. Of course, when you listen to the saying over and over, it does get boring.

Earlier I was trying to mix a picture of his head onto Cher’s with photoshop (which I did successfully) with the song “Believe” by her. So the chorus goes “Do you beeeeleeeiiiiveee YOU HAVE MY STAPLER?” in tune, like the R Kelly “I believe YOU HAVE MY STAPLER?” I was mixing with audacity, and it all went well until i found they’re were are two different recording frequencies, and I couldn’t be bothered to change them both.

Left 4 Dead first impressions.

Great!

 

 

…Fine. It’s not the campaign mode that I like, it’s the versus mode, but i’ll get to that later. Earlier I was playing the last level, me and some guys got from the Hospital level, right to the final level of blood harvest, on expert, cause we kick ass, move fast, stick together, but most importantly, yell macho things down our microphones. (Including zoey.)

My favourite act of heroism was when a tank burst through a tight hallway, as as my buddies ran into the siderooms to hide in thier pitiful cowardice, I heroically ran to the end of the hallway, with a genius plan. I ran round the corner, back to the window I came in from, only to find a boomer vomit on my face. While my buddies hid for thier weak, dishonourable lives, I battled on for ze motherland! I shot the boomer swiftly in the face, and as i punched my way through to the window, the tank caught up. Just as it leaped to me, I dived out the window in a magnificent act of martyrdom, and as the tank followed me it fell out the window, and continued to molest my dying body. (Note: The events written above may be a touch exaggurated for effect.)

On the final level, after I killed another rampaging tank, sacrificed my medikit with 13 health points left, I stumbled to the van which was meant to pick us up, only to find a horde of hungry hungry zombies running at me. As I pumped them vastly full of lead, beating my way through close to death, in a heroic manner. Yet the zombies kept on coming, I see that someone is down, so I shoot all the zombies stamping on his face (But not eating his brain, like other zombies because Valve’s zombies have hygeine standards and requirements,) save him, and then I fall down. 

“LEAVE WITHOUT ME!” I scream down my mike. Now at this point, you’d expect someone to say, “I’M NOT LEAVIN’ WITHOUT YA, BUDDY!” But what really happened is that they said “Sure!” Hopped in the van, and drove off, as I watched eyes widened with grief and horror, as a chav jumped on me.

But I really prefer Versus, as you get to play as zombies. Thats about it. And theres nothing more fun then setting a witch on fire. As my YTMND shows. I’m impressed that Play.com can deliver my game within a day, but when it comes to Dead Space I have to wait 4 weeks until I can tell them how much they suck, and why I want a refund.

I’ll continue making posts on L4D as I play more, because otherwise I’ll think “Aaah. Too much to write down. Screw it.”

But I also want to point out the down sides. I don’t know what valve were thinking with thier shitty match making tool, but I have numerous issues. It’s immensely laggy, it doesn’t work, and IT DOESN’T WORK. Every server I go on crashes, So i have to open the console and type in openserverbrowser. Just because Xbox 360s owners have no idea what a server browser is, it doesn’t mean we have to suffer too. Valve you big family of assjockeys, GIVE US A DAMN SERVER BROWSER.

And off topic I did some science exams, as did thousands of other people around the UK today, and you’d think a massive exam board wouldn’t fuck up and misprint a simple piece of paper, but they did. Also for those BBC Radio 1 listeners, Mary Anne Hobbs’ and Gilles Peterson’s shows this week were brilliant I suggest you people listen. (You only have a week then the link will be invalid and the world will be doooooomeeeedd.)

Now I wonder if HLSS works in L4D….(I believe you have my zombie?)

Yay for exams!

As I briefly pointed out in that other post, I sat some GCSE exams yesterday.

However, in the physics paper, some smart-ass screwed up and mis printed and produced extremely obvious mistake. Turns out, it wasn’t just us! I demand a re-run of the paper, preferably without as much tricky equations and maths, or we should all get A*s. Full story is here.

But most importantly, the L4D lobby system ruins the whole game, and if you agree, sign this petition on the steam forums.  

Transformers 2

I found on IGN Transformers 2 Comes out in late June of 2009! Now with the original Transformers, I didn’t see it in the cinema, because as it was Transformers I thought it was a film for babys. However I did see it on DVD, and realised how awesome it was. I thought it was everything a boy’s film needed. Massive explosions, tricky technical aspects, fast car chases, masturbation humor, and scantily clad women. So, luckily theres a sequel! Whether I get round to seeing it in a cinema is a whole different matter. Normally there are massive wads of films I want to see in the Cinema, but never get round to seeing them. Which is a shame but atleast I see them on DVD. So anyway, June 29th. Transformers 2. Original Source here.

Lets all just hope it doesn’t turn from a Bruce Almighty into an Evan Almighty.

My Problems with Left 4 Dead

Left 4 Dead is good, but it’s far from complete. Here is a list of all the problems I’ve had with the game so far.

Crashes on the second map of any campaign- Some people had this problem in the demo, but they still didn’t fix it.

Not all campaigns are on versus mode – Which is ridiculous considering it’s so easy to put in

Lag – All servers using the shitty lobbying system have horrific lag for me. This leads me onto my next and by far most important point…

Lobbying System. What is the point. It’s the stupidest most useless way to find a server possible. Yes, I know you can type openserverbrowser into your console. But that’s not a proper server browser, And it’s still difficult to find a proper server with it. Valve promised in thier next patch they’d put in a proper server browser.

5 Weapons – There is so little choice, it makes me sad. But still, no game is complete without exploding heads, and thank moses they added exploding heads into the game.

Mods – You can see people playing mods on youtube videos for example, but where are these mods? There aren’t even any mod tools for L4D yet; I wanna play CoD4 maps on L4D…

When is this next patch though? 2010? you know valve, slower then a slow snail with a broken leg. I also pray they’ll fix the above problems in the patch, but the server browser takes top priority.

Edit!:

Oh, and Left 4 Dead always crashes and gives me blue screens of death.

New Page

I added a new page along the bottom part of the banner. Tomorrow I’ll fix the banner so you can easily see the other pages on the site.

JERK!!!!

I’m going to try to avoid leet-speek, poor punctuation and bad grammar right now, but i’m boiling with inconsolible rage.

BOOOILLIIING.

Now, Pentadact is a good writer, and I’m on the other hand much worse, younger, and possibly less hairy. I comment on his blog sometimes. But earlier today, the crime was committed, that he edited…my…comment!

I said “Is there a different main storyline/quest if you choose not to blow up Megaton?” and I continued with “Also, Craig Pearson never answered my question about hair care products.” However, When i just went to check if there was a response from the mighty, loveable and huggable Craig Pearson, MY COMMENT WAS EDITED!

So, i’m not going to say boycott Tom Francis, because nobody would listen to me, as I have less average readers then my class alone at school. (sad, but true.)

Instead, i’m just going to somehow make it memorable that every time you visit Pentadacts blog, you’ll think “Here was the blog Roadrunner was victimised on by innocently asking a question about hair-care.”

…Hey Craig Pearson, if you happen to be reading this which is too unlikely for words, can you enlighten me?

Well-

Atleast he has the guts to reply.

Pentadact: I did. You were boring me.

I don’t mind most forms of trolling, but I don’t want this place to be boring, so if you repeat yourself I’m going to snip it.

 

For the last time; It wasn’t trolling, it was a question about shampoo! Well since he replied I’ll drop my vendetta. Us unloved bloggers are weird most of the time.

The IT Crowd

I recently saw an episode of the IT Crowd, and it’s completely hilarious in every way. Its definitely going to be more popular than “My Family”

I particularly liked the characters, and the actors choice of characterisation. One of my favourite films is Anchorman, and to see a boss of a company act in the same way as Ron Burgundy really made it hilarious for me. The stereotype IT technician nerd, with the combed over afro, is brilliantly acted, and I like the relationships the characters have with each other.

 

Now to avoid watching crap on channel 4 with more advert breaks then my breaks for the toilet in a 1 year period, i’m looking for a place to watch in online. The first thing I saw in the opening sequence is “!FAIL!” and for us PC gamers, geeks and nerds, that set the tone of hilarity. I highly recommend you watch it, but Americans generally won’t find it funny because all they find funny is spoilt brats who deserve to be hung having a pathetic birthday party and shown on MTV. I kid, I kid.

The Pros and Cons of the Tube

On the tube as I left my music player of choice at home (Creative Zen X-FI 8GB) I sat on a brief tube journey pondering the pros, cons and alternatives.

Pros

Well, I have to agree they are conveniently placed, and the fares (For a child in London) are fairly reasonable. But as soon as you pay for an adult Oyster Card, fares are increased by roughly 7503% and you have to pay an extortionate amount of money per travel. Which reminds me, I should promote my friend J-man’s blog at Extortionategamer or whatever it’s called. Either way, I can’t spell it and then again, don’t visit him, he barely ever updates his site. :p

Theres always a fair 10 minutes of entertainment on the tube. Whether it be hilarious adverts about donating to blind orphans with AIDS who starve and have no water in Africa, or the strange obese builder with drool on his shoulder opposite you, it’s always fun.

I particularly like grafitti on tubes. I don’t know who Tom is, but i’m glad I know “he haz a small nob”. Because I hear that question comes up all the time in job interviews.

Cons

There are a fair few cons though. It’s noisy is a big con, but I can live with that.

What I can’t live with, is inconsiderate angsty teenagers with shitty leaky headphones, powering away with thier whiny emo music, so loud I can practically hear the depression. In the winter it’s far too hot, while in the summer, it’s less hot, but still unbearably hot. Unlike the strange, godzilla like man eyeing you up from the corner.

Why do people go to sleep on the tube? A) People could steal your stuff with ease, and B) it’s easy (but not advisable) to lodge a penis right into thier mouth. I’m sorry, but it had to be said. Also, people who go to sleep tend to wake up with drool on thier shoulder, or at worst the person next to theirs shoulder. What can you possibly say in this kind of situation? “I’m sorry, I’ve had a touch of malaria ever since the tropics”?

The tube is unbelievably shuddery and juddery too, in Rush Hour (unfortunately not the brilliant movie) and luckily I normally miss rush hour, theres always someone falling on top of you. And once again, it’s not a very attractive woman in a short skirt, it tends to be a small dwarf like man with thick glasses and revealingly tight jeans.

I take the Northern Line, and I always like to guess who is taking which stop. Unfortunately for me, it’s far too easy. All the anxious, uptight looking people get off at the stop I get off at, and so do Asian people. The Indians wait for the next two stops. I apoligise for my political incorrectness, but nobody can deny how areas have more of one demographic then each other. I even confirm that political stereotype, getting off at the predominantly Jewish and Asian area.

So to sum up, I found this picture of the internet when I googled “tube” and thought I could write a bit on it too.

I can’t avoid my geek-roots and put in “THE CAKE IS A LIE”. Had to be done, and done in style.

so if that was a real train, for a start, the driver wouldn’t be leaning out the window, but I doubt TFL would do anything about it, because they’re bloody useless. At this point, someone would throw themselves onto the track and delay the trains for the next 3 years as it happens every so often. (Does this happen in America?) And also, I can make jokes about this because I haven’t witnessed someone jumping infront of a train, and I don’t care much about political correctness.

But did you know, Jumping infront of a train is a stupid way to die? about 64% of jumpers survive, and is fairly horrible. Just do something more creative if you want to kill yourself. For inspiration watch the Final Destination trilogy.

Right Wing Assholes

There are many right wing assholes in the world, but I stumbled across this particular stupid right wing asshole, and I shall now analyse his propaganderous bollocks, with a hint of satire if possible.

Original link is here.

The prospect of a Barack Obama presidency makes me very nervous.

This is like saying, the prospect of going to the toilet next makes me nervous, I drunk ALOT of water. I mean, it’s fine to be wondering what to expect with a new leader, but why nervous? This guy clearly thinks he’s going open up GULAGs, and spend all American taxpayers money on a giant laser beam to blow up the moon unless the UN pays him ONE-HUNDER-RED-BILL-EON-DOLL-ARRGHS.

Obama’s entire campaign has been based on the need for radical, transformational change, which implies there is something very wrong with America.

Oh good lord. Has this guy been living in a cave for the last two presidencies? No, the world is fine. Everyone is safe, there are no problems with anything, (Especially the economy) and everyone in the world lives in perfect harmony together singing REM songs.

It’s hardly surprising, then, that he has painted the bleakest picture of America instead of acknowledging, as a starting point, that we are still the greatest nation in the world.

I’m not going to dwell on this point. I know what you’re thinking. Epic, EPIC Fail. If you acknowledged America as the greatest country in the world, how would you continue your speech? “AMERICA KICKS ASS DOOD, BOMB IRAQISTAN, NUKE AFGHANIRAQ AND EVERYTHING IS FINE!” Oh wait. That’s this guys view.

For the past eight years, Democrats have slandered America as an imperialistic country that always prefers force to diplomacy; that attacks nations without provocation to enrich itself and to project its power; that intentionally targets civilian lives; that encourages sadistic torture of enemy prisoners, as opposed to tough interrogation techniques to extract information to save the lives of its people; that eavesdrops on private conversations among its citizens rather than monitoring terrorist communications into its borders; and that abuses rather than goes out of its way to accommodate the savages in Guantanamo’s prison. None of it is true.   

This guy should write for the next republican campaign. I mean, he’s practically choking on bullshit. I particularly want to highlight the line, “Savages in Guantanamo’s prison.” It just doesn’t need an explanation. He’s basically disproved his own arguments with the contrasts of the top and bottom. Newsflash. They do torture people in Guantanamo. America is an Imperialistic country anyways.

next up, my favourite part of the whole speech.

For eight years, Democrats have poor-mouthed the mostly growing economy. They’ve lied that Bush’s tax cuts for all income groups were only for the wealthy and that the cuts reduced revenues. They pretend to be deficit hawks, when Obama’s new spending plans alone will make Bush look like Scrooge. They said Bush wanted to destroy Social Security, when he’s the only one in the past 20 years who had the courage to try to reform it. All lies.

No politics article has ever made me quite laugh as much with one sentence. ”Mostly growing economy” Because it would be false if he put “growing” economy. The rest is all jargon which is debatable.

They’ve preached bipartisanship while exhibiting the nastiest partisanship in my lifetime, calling Bush “King George III,” “Hitler,” a “murderer,” a “war criminal,” a “reckless cowboy,” a “moron” and a “Christian throwback.” They’ve caricatured Bush as an unbending partisan who wouldn’t reach across the aisle, in the face of his countless and mostly rebuffed bipartisan overtures and legislation. More disinformation.   

It’s not disinformation. And it’s definitely not just the Democrats calling Bush that. Infact, last time I checked, it was EVERYONE. Just saying More disinformation at the end doesn’t instantly validate your crap, and therefore make your opinion true, you stupid and possibly homophobic cowboy.

They’ve deliberately divided this nation on the basis of race, class, gender and religion while telling us, falsely, that conservatives are racists, greedy, sexists, homophobes and religious bigots.   

Unfortunately for that point, a country will always be divided on those accounts. Atleast having a Black President can help unite the races and classes. It’s idiots like you saying that kind of stuff which just divides it more. Oh, and you conservatives are racists, greedy, sexists, homphobic religious bigots.

The propaganda triumvirate — Democrats, the liberal media and leftist bloggers — have portrayed President Bush, Vice President Cheney and America as dark and evil forces and have whipped the country into a frenzy of desperation, setting the table for a charismatic leader to deliver us from the despair they’ve manufactured with relentless precision.    Barack Obama, with his mysterious past and messianic aura, then burst upon the scene with the focused purpose of capitalizing on the public’s perceived woes by offering dramatic change and unspecified hope. As if the script had been written just for him, he stepped right into his role, expanding on this theme of despair. He stressed how bleak conditions are, how unfair America is to the less fortunate and middle class, how ugly America is in foreign affairs, how the values of average Americans are warped (bitter clingers), how hardworking producers who oppose confiscatory tax rates but who contribute more to charity than Obama and his running mate even contemplate are selfish, and how America is a global environmental menace.   

Yay, i’m part of his mysterious “propaganda triumvirate” he talks of apparantly! He says liberal media. Who is he referring to as liberal media? And if the media is liberal, he’s essentially contradicting what he said above to do with Guantanamo and how “Savages” deserve to be treated badly. He portrays the classic right-wing facist. ‘NO MEDIA UNLESS IT’S MY KINDA MEDIA!’ Conditions are bleak. The world is doomed. Barack Obama simply said, as any intelligent campaigner would, “I want to fix the problems.” But you stupid Republicans don’t realise that, because you’re all so damn rich and sheltered in your (weaker then our good ol’ pound) that for you the world is fine. I love how he says “how ugly America is in foreign affairs” as if to say they’re great in public affairs. Yeah, he must be right. I still remember “Yo Blair, what’s happnin’?” 

When he refers to Barack Obama saying “global environmental menace” I can only understand from his Right wing gibberish that he’s referring to Global Warming? Naaaahhh. It doesn’t exist! That’s uhh, errmmm… The sun! Yeah God created the earth to get hotter so women sunbath more being us men’s inferiors!

With all respect, almost everything about Obama’s campaign is fraudulent. He masquerades as a uniter while dividing, polarizing and alienating us. He denies he’s liberal, when objective sources score him as the most liberal senator. He says he barely knows militants and radicals with whom he has spent his lifetime cavorting and whose worldviews — horrifyingly — he shares. 

Listen you stupid fuckwad, you’re beginning to piss me off. Just because your campaign failed miserably, you resorted to getting Palin to say “OBAMA IS A MUSLIN TERRORIST.” Whats wrong with Muslin? It’s just a cloth. And what’s wrong with Muslims for that matter? You’re just openly admitting you’re racist. You’ve accused Obama of avoiding the issues and being too liberal, but when it comes to your arguments, you just say everything is fine because it’s the lazy option, then you dig right in and start making up fallacies, as opposed to facing the real issues. 

With his known discomfort with American exceptionalism, his naive mindset about good and evil in the world, his reckless underestimation of threats to America, his stated intention to disarm our nuclear weapons unilaterally, his open-borders extremism, his willingness to relax our intelligence monitoring, and his misguided concern for terrorists’ rights, how can America be as secure under his watch?   

There IS good and evil in the world. What would you say there is, Mr. Facist? After blaitently ripping into Obama, you deny there is good and evil in the world, even if it is totally subjective? I’m British. I kept watch of the American election campaign because I like politics, but nowhere, did Obama state he wanted to relax intelligence monitoring and disarm nuclear weapons unilaterally. Stop making up shit, which happens to be what you hypocritically accused the Democrats of doing near the start. America can be secure under his watch because under his watch there isn’t an iron fist of facism looming over like there would be if your McCain-Failin’ duo would.

Before our very eyes, America stands poised to elect as president the most radical man ever to run for this office credibly. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

The closest I can say you “warned” us was with your communist witch-hunts in the sixties, and your parents with the white bedsheets and pillowcases on while burning thier crosses.

I think you might agree with me this is this is radically far right wing. Now i’m an open lefty, but i’m glad some other people be it Right or Left wingers, can see some sense in this utter dimwitted oaf’s waste of writing. With this.

“Yes Will. Drown yourself in the comfort of your conservative media and ideology. Close your eyes and cover your ears to any and all challenging ideas and dissenting voices. Just keep telling yourself “I am right…I am right…I am right.” After all, it was not your party’s bad ideas and poor record of governance that resulted in this seachange on Nov. 4th – it was that dammed liberal media. What was it that the Bible said about building a house upon the sand? But don’t worry, I am sure it is different for “movements.” ” JT- California.

But don’t leave all the abuse up to JT! Hit the link at the top of this post, and you can all hurl plenty of good ol’ fashion opposing views and interesting thought-provoking comments!

On a different note, I made a new banner. It was originally meant for J-man’s blog over at Evangelical gamer or whatever he calls himself, but I loved my own masterpiece too much and arrogantly decided I should use it. Don’t worry, I’ll make him another one probably better! And with Dr. Zoidberg in it! Possibly.

When will Google Chrome get Youtube support?!

Theres nothing I can do about it, except complain. So let me begin.

WHEN THE FUCK WILL GOOGLE CHROME GET FUCKING YOUTUBE SUPPORT?!?!?

I’m getting pretty pissed off whenever I want to watch a video, I have to swap to Internet Explorer, and travel back to a day when there were no alternatives. And I don’t want to use firefox, because Firefox users seem to all be smug assholes.

They say “FIREFOX IS AWESOME, LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT I CAN PUT ON MY TASKBAR!” well, I don’t want shit on my taskbar. So if I used firefox I’d just be jumping on the bandwagon for no reason. Which is why I use Google Chrome.

Except it has no youtube support. And this gets fucking annoying considering every goddamn video on the internet is off youtube. Sure, there are alternatives, but let’s face it. Nobody uses it.

So I think I speak for all Chrome users, when i say PUT SOME GODDAMN VIDEO CODEC INTO IT, YOU RICH AMERICAN GOOGLE PEOPLE!

On a side note, I really think this is cool, especially for left 4 dead.

NEWS JUST IN, PLANETS LOVE EARTH

Breaking news. The planets, (Or atleast Jupiter, Venus and the moon) are happy at earth.

However, is it as good as it looks? Scientists say in some countries, they’re frowning.

“As long as you have clear skies in the early part of the evening, this is one astronomical event that’s hard to miss.”

Well. That counts me out, in good ol’ light polluted London. So its obvious. The countries with a frowny face will all be meteored in a hail of comets. Good Bye cruel world.

There’s a link here to National Geographic and it’s views on the situation, but it’s so goddamn boring, I personally don’t think it’s worth reading.

Just a small post for today

I have compiled a list of the 4 most useful items in the world, neigh, in the universe!

Towel – Keep warm, cold, dry or to defend yourself from evil Vorgons.

Selotape – For selotaping anything. Or make bridges.

Ball Point Pen – Small fine point, also can be used as a jabbing weapon.

Binbags – Parachutes, clothing, and of course, bin bags.

…Just think of what MacGuyver can do with these kind of items!

Replaying the Classics

I love my N64. Infact no, I WUB my N64. I wasn’t quite born at the reign of the NES, and missed the SNES, but was old enough to love my N64. My younger brother has a PS3, which I never play on because it’s too fiddly and I always wonder what’s the point of having an expensive piece of kit, with it’s main selling point on it’s graphics (Because lets face it, everything else about the PS3 sucks) when our TV isn’t ultra LCD super Hi def plasma.

So I nabbed my younger brothers spare PS3 controller, jammed it into my PC via usb, and fired up Project64- My N64 emulator.

And here we go. I vow to complete Ocarina of Time again, but on my PC with a PS3 controller. I also have Super Smash Bros (The original, and best in some ways one) and Lylat Wars. Already i’ve completed Lylat Wars twice over. The problem is I can’t find Goldeneye 64 as a ROM anywhere. So sod it.

But, i’ll set up FRAPS and play through those games, and if something interesting happens, or I find a way to make something interesting out if it, you can be sure i’ll post it here! Here is a good one so far!

On a side note, i’m still looking for an immensely left-wing article or website, so I can do “Left Wing Assholes” as a post, to please the Right Wingers.

Also, I could do Neutral assholes, but surely that would be boring? ‘Tis finally December by the way, some people like Christmas, but I find it depressing; It’s so expensive and in this current economic climate (aaah, the joys of economics) it’s going to be a larger waste of money then normal. Oh well. Atleast the weather is nice, even if it is dark here by 4.30PM.

I’m also playing through Metroid Prime 3 again, but I need to play through the first one on Gamecube also.

And you know, I just love reminiscing about Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. I guess i’m a multiplatformer.

And I finally got a double bed. But that’s to do with real life! RUN! We come to the internets to escape from real life!

Also finally, you may have noticed I call this blog, “Mainly PC Gaming.” Well perhaps I should rename it “Interesting things for the PC Gamers”? Gotta come up with that snappy title.

If there’s one thing you buy this winter…

For the love of god. Let it be gloves.

Not only do your hands freeze, but they get all chapped, sore, horrifically numb and painful. Unless of course you’re in Australia enjoying your reverse winter. Lucky jerks.

I recently bought a new chair, because as a PC kinda-guy (I’m a PC! And I can right click!) I developed back problems from slouching etc. But now i’m fixing it, with some special exercise which is as simple and lifting your shoulders up slightly, and now with this new ergonomic, back supporting chair, it shall be a breeze.

But not the horrifically cold rushing breeze that we suffer in the winter.

That’s my new chair, but mine is in black and not suede, because although suede is freakin’ awesome, it’s an extra £100.  Also, I’m still going through my plan of beating Ocarina of Time, and have been playing it more then Left4Dead or any other game for that matter. (BLASHPEMY!) 

I also saw on IGN that Bioshock 2 has been announced, with one of those teaser trailers which reveals nothing. But it says “Bioshock 2: Sea of Dreams.” Looks good!

The shortest and worst post yet

WordPress updated how I post, so now it looks a bit different.

I prefer it. I’ll make a proper post later on today though, I just need to think of something to write about

Also, I updated the banner, Because I prefer TF2 to Mirror’s Edge, which for me doesn’t actually look like what it was promised to cook up to.

Yes, the graphics are nice, but that doesn’t make it a good game…yet.

I mean, I don’t even know what sort of game it is. Action? Action-adventure? FPS? RPG? Confusing stuff.

Obama Loses my Respect; Mac Claims another victim

Bad news everyone. I have just found out, that Barack Obama, is infact, a Mac User. Well okay, not Mac specifically but Ipod as opposed to the numerous other MP3/MP4 players out there.  

And by saying that’s bad news, the few mac users who might read this will fight back “ZOMG MACS R FTW, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR UR PC TO START UP? LOLOL”

To that I say, Who gives a fuck how long it takes my PC to load up; I’m not that desperate to load up porn, and I like to pride myself on the fact I can right click.

Also, I play PC Games. What do you Mac users play? Apart from SPORE and Battlefield 2142 (For mac.)

But anyway, the article is here.

Look, this is a time for the country to be coming together, not tearing apart at the seems over some age-old partisanship bickering: today, I want all you iPod fanboys out there to go find a Zune user and give them a big old hug. I know it’ll be difficult for you (finding a Zune user, that is), but don’t be shy: they’re all about the social.

But I like this writer’s ending, he’s all about spreading the love, and as he’s a mac user, spreading the STD’s.

(It needed to be said, sorry.. Let’s unite and share the love, Mac and PC users, unite against Linux!)

Photoshoppin’ (And writing more then I expected to)

Sometimes I get bored, and if I choose not to play a game or find something to entertain myself, I’ll hop onto photoshop and make something. I don’t want to start advertising myself, because to be quite honest, i’m not particularly good with it compared to other people, but I make my own banners, so that’s a start. But I made this post to say, considering I have so few readers, if you like I can make you  something because of the tiny amount, there’s a massive chance I have the time

 

I made that with photoshop for a friend, because I was bored. It would of looked better if the picture was more colourful, but It's not bad

 

 

Site News: I offered a friend of mine who used to do his own blog, (ViewX) but recently shut it down, if he wanted to write here every now and then, he could. So one day you might see a post in a less cynical writing format, and the odds are that’s him. However, I said he could post when he feels like it, theres no pressure, so he’s not going to do daily posts like myself.

Ahhh…Hmm.. What else is there to discuss…

So this post is really because I just wanted to update, and state some bits and bobs, instead of one of my regular posts with a point to it.

Oh, and I now have a card in my wallet saying if I die, I’ll donate my body to the purpose of Science progess, and the vital organs can go to people who need them. Because I think when you’re dead, what possible reasons would you need a body for? You have to be a true and proper Scrooge to miserly keep your body. ‘Tis the season you see, even though I’m Jewish.

Some people ask how as a Jew in Britain I celebrate Xmas? Well, no tree, no decorations or £20 LED Lights, I just exchange a gift or two with my family. We also celebrate Hannukah and give a gift or two then, but we do the candles and such then.  Maybe you’ll agree with me, but alot of people really nowadays celebrate Christmas as an excuse to spend money and gift people gifts, but it’s not as if anything is wrong with that; it fuels the economy, which is also good.

I just realised I wrote more then I expected myself to write; this post rolled on into different topics O.o I like that.

And a tiny, tiny, tiny note to PeterD, I finally finished that banner I said I’d make you ages ago.

A scientifically philosophical question

I’m not a fan of philosophy, and alot of it tends to be gibberish written well enough so it’s technically not gibberish, but I’ve always been a little but puzzled about the question..

What in the brain triggers a human being to like something? It can be association with other things, and probably the upbringing, even a little bit of peer pressure in the question, but what makes someone for example, eat a piece of food and think “Hey, I like that!” The tastebuds stimulate a pleasurable taste, but why would that person find that taste nice while another person find it not so nice?

It is just humans who are like this? Because you don’t really see one particular animal in the wild eat something and not enjoy it, they do things collectively. Same with music, why do I like some forms of music. while other people don’t? I like the rythm, the speed, the bass, the sound in general, but some people hate the kind of music I like…but why? Maybe it’s the human condition.

Just a question which is almost hypothetical…

The Humble Cheese Toastie

After that slightly philosophical post, I think I should go back to my regular posts. Shall, I say, in a bit more cheesy manner?

When i’m feeling snackish, I don’t go crackers for crackers, I don’t go bezerk for biscuits, No, I don’t write blog posts, I make a cheese toastie!

Ages ago I posted my recipe for the perfect Toastie, but you’d have to be truly stupid to screw up a cheese toastie. There are probably other forms of toasties about, but nothing beats the cheese one. Of course for a proper cheese toastie, it’s gotta be strong mature cheddar. Forget the pre-melted Camembert, or the rock solid Mozzarella. For more on good cheddar, there’s a live stream on the internet of cheese maturing, called Cheddarvision. The cheese toastie truly is the greatest. Thinking about other toasties, I came up with these.

Ham and Cheese toastie, I guess it would be a cheese toastie but with ham in it. 

Cheese and Tomato toastie, Cheese toastie but with tomatoes which get toasted to. Some people like this, I like the classic of cheese only.

Chicken Toastie? How can you melt chicken?

The best accompanyant for this, is of course, a humble mug of strong tea.  The humble cheese toastie. Created by God during his lunch break on the 4th day, it stands as a testamant to all that is great. The cheese toastie proves that simple is the best. Shakespeare probably was eating a cheese toasty when he was writing Hamlet. It must of gone as follows.

“Mr Shakespeare sir, do you want a Cheese Toastie for lunch, or a chicken sandwich?”

“Hmm….To brie, or not to brie…that is the great lunch question…”

Okay, that’s enough puns from me now. I butter quit, i’m running out of them.

Darn Philosophy References

Well, I suppose it was inevitable in a game based around a zombie apocalypse.

In the safe room, there are pieces of the comical graffitti, such as “I hope they get me in my sleep” with a rebuttle of “I hope they get you too”

The classic love messages to lost ones, and you even see philosophy everywhere.

For example…

I believe it’s a Nietszche reference to when the Origin of Species first came out. As in, “Alternative theories to the churce = No God.”

I still need to play with the devoloper console on. But with valve’s new patch, things have gone horribly wrong.

Mainly…

• At the start of Dead Air, Bill is sometimes floating.
• In Dead Air, at the end of the level, you load a map at total random, on any game mode, in any position. For example once, I loaded an empty Death Toll map, with all the zombie models. And the other time I loaded the Hospital map in Versus mode…Weird.
• But the worst part is, Valve still haven’t put in a proper bloody server browser.

Who says Video Games are the downfall of our society? Oh, right, The Daily Mail. “PHILOSOPHY REFERENCES IN A VIDEO GAME? IT MUST MEAN POOR PEOPLE AND BLACKS WILL KILL US ALL! BAN THIS SICK FILTH!”

Metal Slug 7 DS

I own a DS, and recently, I have got ahold of….

Metal Slug 7!

 I’m a fan of the metal slug series, I’ve completed them in arcades all over the world on no more then 4 credits, because i’m quite good at them. Metal Slug 7 isn’t one of my favourites, but it’s still good. Now the one thing I didn’t like about Metal Slug 7, is that it is only Metal Slug 7. There are 6 other Metal Slugs and it seems a rip off that you have only 7 (Short) levels for a £30 game. Yes, I use R4DS, but that’s irrelevent. What about real consumers?! Oh, right. Real consumers on the DS are too young to know what R4 is. Please ignore the IGN tag in the corner

Well that makes sense. But another thing Metal Slug 7 lacks- Extra modes. There’s a “Combat School” But why? You can learn how to play within 5 minutes of play, and the only reason it’s there is for the Hentai-obsessives, because as usual, there’s a scantily clad anime girl telling you how she’s going to “teach you some lessons you won’t forget.”

It’s an arcade game, so you don’t expect much of the story, but MS7 has no story- All I picked up from the cutscenes is that after killing a big worm, the reocurring stereotype Fidel-Castro-Osama crossover antagonist opens up a big portal, where cyberman in blue tanks do his bidding for no reason. Well, fair enough, whatever keeps the story going.

The soundtrack is quite good, sticking with the classic Metal Slug stuff, but improving it slightly, although for a game where all you can hear is the horrified screaming and yelping of thousands of unknown soldiers bowing before you’re feet, as you, the one man mercenary kills everyone, makes a musical soundtrack unneccessary.

Which also raises the question for me, do you ever get the feeling you’re on the wrong side? I mean, alot of games make you seem like a martyr or hero, but it’s you against thousands of them, and they’re just doing thier job to stop you. Some of the soldiers in MS will scream by the mere sight of you. Games like Far Cry 2, the story is good, (even if it is a little bit over the top) because it makes it clear you’re not a hero. You’re just some guy trying to kill someone else for some reason. (Forget the rest of the story, especially the last part, which totally ruined the game for me)

Even Crysis, Koreans vs Americans. You just charge in a kill hordes of innocent soldiers, simply defending thier outpost like thier commanders told them to. It seems unfair you can just waltz in and set fire to everything just because the explosions are highly impressive. I think that the Koreans and Americans should make some sort of truce half way through in the game, to fight united against the aliens, even if thier truce would be short-lived, and they’re so suspicious of each other that sometimes and randomly, they might fight.

Hmm… What other games have strange storylines… World in Conflict! Actually, no that wasn’t too bad. I liked that story of the peppy but arrogant and kiss-ass young guy, who fucked up way earlier, and has to win back his commander’s respect by sacrificing himself and his fellow units. But how did his fellow units feel about it? Pah. And why is it that the Russian Communists are portrayed as evil blood sucking leeches tearing out the free speech from the heart of America’s precious democracy? Oh well. I Hereby rate it overall… 6/10. I went off from Metal Slug 7, but to sum up the game, It’s great for short bursts if you carry your DS with you if you ever get out. And the chances of that are slim if you’ve actually found my blog.

Hopefully you enjoyed my first Gaming post in a long, long time. Next game to illegally download  buy, Pokemon Ranger 2. The first one was entertaining, I don’t care if some people say it’s just drawing circles, it’s more then that. It’s drawing FAST CIRCLES! Actually, no. I played 10 minutes of this, and now you don’t need to draw fast circles. So many problems with this game. The characters are stupid anyway. They have absolutely NO depth, and are token meaningless pixels anyway. and the first half of the game is a bloody tutorial, which you should be able to skip considering it’s a (crap) sequel.

Games I hope to Get and Games I won’t be getting

I hope to get (either for my Birthday on the 6th or when I have money to get something)

Dead Space – When it’s cheaper, probably in Xmas sales. This is because everyone seems to love it, and I like sci-fi games. So when a sci-fi game claims to be brilliantly gory, I have to atleast try it.

GTA IV – But only when it’s much cheaper. I guess it’s because it’s just one of those “Must Have” games.

Fallout 3 – Not an RPG fan, but people say this one is different. However I’m going to have to do some more pondering and thinking over of this one, especially because it’s only single player

Call of Duty World at War - Okay, so they got rid of camoflauge paint, and people say it doesn’t stand up well against CoD4. But, it has an in depth multiplayer, and although it has it’s flaws, it’s supposedly good, and I did enjoy the Beta, alot. And it’s more mod friendly.

Red Alert 3 - Only if it’s £5 from the bargain bin though

Tomb Raider Underworld – Only if it’s cheap. Around…£10 I’d say

Bioshock - Old, yes. But it’s still good, and now that its so old, it will be much cheaper!

I’m not a cheapskate, it’s just that I’m not rolling in money, laughing maniacally with a super-pc. I’m a teenager with a little bit of money, and a moderately powerful but still good PC who has to make difficult decisions when it comes to buying games. It’s just lucky it’s almost Christmas and my Birthday is directly after Christmas. However, there are also a pile of books, DVDs, and other things I’d rather get over some of those games

 However, there are some games I have made up my mind about definitely not getting.

Prince of Persia (The new one) – I played the old ones, so despite the hype I don’t really see why I would want to get the new one. It wasn’t that great anyway

Need for Speed Undercover - I love how EA can literally force feed money into a dead trilogy, make a great advert for it, and still sell masses. Mind you, the advert was so good, I almost considered buying it for a minute.

Tom Clancy’s Endwar/Splinter Cell/ HAWX - Tom Clancy Games are all bug riddled, and have a poor tendency to be over-rated. Co-op is good but you need someone to play with, provided you can get the internet to work without Hamachi.

F.E.A.R 2 – Haven’t played the first one, but it’s very hyped. Dunno if it’s good or bad hype, i’ll do more research on it. :p

Mirror’s Edge - I don’t see a real point to that game. Sure it has nice graphics, but so does the outside world. All it is without it’s fancy graphics is running, and doing some fancy moves, which are clear to see boiling down to one thing, and one thing only. Timed button mashing.

Guitar Hero World Tour (Wii) - I have a wii, and there a few games I have for it, as most games are just a fad because of the controller. Weirdly enough though, some of my favourite games or atleast game trilogies are on the wii, like Legend of Zelda, and Metroid Prime. But back on the subject, GHWT, as I shall call it in brief, looked great, right up until I realised 3 things.

1. A Rock based game has Sting in it.
2. A Rock based game has a crap rock based soundtrack. Coldplay isn’t rock, for example. Yes, Beat It by Michael Jackson is a nice song, and it does have an epic Van Halen solo (Which I’d like to see on expert) but these kinda songs are not rock.
3. The Price

The final reason doesn’t make me a cheap bastard.

So that’s my next 12 months or so of gaming summed up, and a post done for today. Two birds with one stone

Are Sequels really that bad?

Alot of people dislike sequels. I can see thier view, about how it’s only creative the first time, and boring the other times, but I have a slightly altering opinion. If a game is good, then it would be nice if it has a sequel. If a game is truly excellent, the hopefully it should last long enough not to get a sequel but thats besides the point, I was going to say sometimes you don’t want new, charming ideas, it’s nice to stick with the same character, same format, but new or different levels. 

However, now that seems to be called Download Content.

An example. Guitar Hero. 

It’s successful because it’s the same formula, in a different way. Okay, adding a microphone horrifically ruined it, because no person who wishes they played the guitar would be singing along, as the removes the cool aspect and heads into the girl aspect, but my point is, if you want new and interesting experimental games, head over to Steam, you might find a good one.

Of course, you can go too far. Games shouldn’t get sequels if

A) The first one wasn’t even that good

or

B) They’re bought out by EA. 

Well, there are a few exceptions of that EA rule, and let’s be fair, EA are getting better now, with Dead Space.

Something else all together, Bioshock 2 hasn’t even come out, (Although there is a teaser trailer) but already I can see speculation for Bioshock 3! Bizarre. O.o

Let’s open a can of festive relevence

  

A little bit of festivity never hurt anyone!

Call me Road-doph the Red Nose reindeer.

Until the 26th of December. If you call me that then who knows what I might do. Possibly get slightly annoyed!

Francis is ruining Left4Dead for me

Not Tom Francis, but the ex-village person Francis in Left 4 Dead. Everything he says is so damn depressing. You’ll either hear him and his notoriously disturbing laugh at people getting pounced by a hunter, or if not that, then his classic and repetitive line “I hate [ relevent thing goes here ]” I swear, he says that for everything.

It’s like that’s what she said, but in a video game. But he says it so often he’s making the game unenjoyable. You know that depressing guy who you invite over because he’s nice, but when you meet up with him, he’s in a depressed mood and there’s nothing you can do to lift him/her out of it? That’s Francis.

Francis is the real buzz killington. He kills happiness wherever it is. He probably insists the team go out at night, just to add suspicion and confusion making everyone sadder. Fucking emo francis. How about the Francis Drinking game? Every time he says “I hate …” you take a sip of beer! Infact, scratch that, you’ll not only be pissed within the first 5 minutes, but bankrupt.

Infact, I can’t wait for the L4D mod tools to be released, so I can add uplifting sounds over Francis’s! (But not as uplifitng as Louis’s annoying always lookin’ on the bright side happy feeling.) And if I can’t voice those well enough, i’ll mod in pointless sounds like Towelie’s classic line, “Don’t forget to bring a towel!”, for when you punt a hunter away just before he gets you, the unoriginal yet brilliant “Can’t touch this” and just for Francis, Napoleon Dynamites line “CHAH.” And various other geek references. Wait. No. Best-Idea-Ever. Father Grigori lines, throughout the game! GENIUS! Now I really can’t wait. But being valve it won’t be released for another 60,000 years.

But how awesome would it be to listen to Ron Burgundy’s inane wittering while running through hordes of zombies? And a perfect duo. Modding the pills to a bottle of scotch, while having the line played, “I Love scotch. Scotchy Scotch Scotch.”

GREAT ODIN’S RAVEN! Still stands as my favourite line from the film.

And for the new TF2 updates, i’ll comment on them later! But Francis hates updates.

A small question.

I have noticed I post, alot. So just as a brief survey, I wanted to know If i should cut down on posts. The up sides of cutting down on posts; More indepth posts,  and allows viewers to keep up if they can’t check every day.

alternatively, I can stay updating daily. This means- A new post every day, less in depth though, and not reaching thier full and best potential due to being done quickly.

So a brief poll to check this, please vote if you ever, ever read this. Thanks

My Posting Inactivity

I haven’t posted for a few days as I’ve had Bronchitis and have been in bed  since saturday, and to be honest I probably shouldn’t be on the computer now as it’s giving me a headache :s

So it’s back to bed for me!

But hopefully it should be healed up soon. And because I’ve been coughing so much I can’t scream “MEDIC MEDIC MEDIC MEDIC” like I do in TF2 to get healed

The most recent TF2 Updates

This post should of come long ago, but I was very, very ill, so it’s lucky I managed to play at all. This post will be great as it will allow me to use all my excess TF2 Screenshots. And I have some fairly lucky/decent ones Anywho, before I start i’m just going to say Valve again missed out fixing one tiny problem which nobody (including me) really cares about. The Pyro animation on the class select screen.

The Engineer’s dispensers and teleporters can be upgraded to leve l 3 now? At first I was highly skeptical, but this is actually genius! Because although with a level 3 dispenser behind your sentry instead of a level one makes it harder for the enemy to destroy your precious sentry, its still easy to blow it away with a good uber! And the dispenser was weak and crap to begin with, but now you can actually live off it to get a level 1 sentry to leve l 3 as opposed to running off back to your base to stock up, only to see a sapper sign flicked on in the top right corner, and you get back in time to see your sentry explode into small pieces. It’s not overpowered at level 3, either.

Same with the teleporter. People generally don’t upgrade them in set-up time, because thats when they’re upgrading thier sentries (and now dispensers) but if the teleporter is upgraded, it means people can get to the front far more easily, which results in more action. This was a good idea because maps like Fastlane and Badlands where a teleporter is vital because of the vast length you’d have to trek across as a heavy.

Spies being able to recharge thier cloak from ammo and bits of metal on the floor, is quite useful, but doesn’t really make much of a difference. For me, when I play as a spy, I’m not one of those jerks who saps your teleporter entrances, or baserapes you, I’d really rather help my team by taking out the sentries on the points. For the trained eye, if you suddenly see a box of ammo miraculously vanish off the floor, then you know there’s a spy about , but I haven’t seen much of this action in use.

For the new medic animations, they too, are nice, except I don’t know if Valve intended to make the spy a walking suicide stick if he’s healed, because even when you cloak and have been healed, you have small medic signs floating above your head, which normally ends up in you being gunned down.

I’ve only noticed one part of Goldrush which they changed, and it’s the ledge in the first part, which unlocks itself once Blu have hit the first cap. This is now blocked up, but with a nice window for snipers. And I think this update is well thought out because it stops red scouts/demos/soldiers and even engineers getting into this part and holding all the Blu team out. And it doesn’t make too much of a difference for the attackers anyway, because what the sniper can now see through the window, is also partly blocked off because it’s not completely open as it was before. I wish I had a screenshot to explain all of this. This one will have to do in place of one.

Alot of people complained about the demoman being way too powerful and so as a result they made his sticky bombs destroyable. When I first read about this I thought “that’s it, The demoman is broken.” I never thought he was over powered, and I didn’t even play as him. But it was all the people who suck so much at TF2, they blame thier crap playing on the power of a class. Anyway, I thought that this was the end of the road for the demo. 

But it’s nowhere near that. Infact, it’s even better then I thought. Now all the wingy useless players won’t complain, and in effect he’s no less powered then he was before! Excellent. you can destroy his stickies if you like, but it’s quite difficult and only convenient if you happen to have a minigun at you’re disposal.

There are a few other tweaks, but they’re too minute to comment on, for example particle effects for rocket jumpers or jumping into water. So for valve, it’s “another successful procedure!”

A Touching Tale of Christmas Spirit

Some might say I’ve been sucked in by the conglomerate giants for Christmas. To them I say, Who cares? Nobody even cares about the nativity stories anymore, because the whole world seem to be becoming Atheists and Agnostics, indoctrinated by Richard Dawkins, and all the Christmas advertising and gifts boost the ever-fluctuating economy. And Surprisingly this year, advertising hasn’t been that bad, atleast I’ve noticed. But anyway, 

-Instead of me copying and pasting a heft and big article making this post imtimidatingly large, here is a link.-

Source is the Beeb. I think apart from this being a nice, heartwarming story, it genuinely restored a tiny bit of human faith into me. I believe in honour quite alot, and when people say “I don’t believe in honour” I don’t really understand how you can not believe in honour. It’s sort of like going “I don’t believe in respect.” I’m not talking about the chav kind of respect, where people seem to think intelligence generates from money and expensive chains with dollar signs hung round your necks, (Which incidentally, I saw a modern R&B video by “Akon” and i’m wondering, how is this R&B? It could not be any more stereotypical. It was shots of a massive yacht on the beautiful blue seas of the Med, with numerous girls in bikinis dancing round a drug dealer in a complete white fur suit. Then it swapped to a shot of the same kind of stuff, but on land.) I’m talking about the kind of respect where you simply think well of someone. 

I would like to be a doctor when I’m older, because I want to help people, not because I think it will guarentee me a place in heaven, or because I want to be smug and tell everyone I spent my working days in a hospital helping terminally ill orphans cure thier lisps, but just because lets face it. Theres little hope in finding a meaning of life. Life doesn’t really have much meaning or point, but that’s a good thing. It leaves you space to make (or find) your own meaning.  So, this is the kind of cheesy thing I like to see at Christmas. Not the religious aspect, or the inevitable Marks and Spencers food porn ads on tv about how the turkey they’re showing isn’t just  turkey, it’s a golden, rich, not too stringy, not too dry feathered nicely roasted turkey with some good gravy on it, but the stories about people helping each other.

I just want to make clear I’m only feeling Christmassy because of the present giving and taboo surrounding it and how it works in society, not the religious bit, I’m Jewish

—–

Now to the more comical side. I apologise for that mush above. If only people would pay me back for the money I’ve lent them. Infact, for all the bloody things i’ve lent people over the years. I remember when I was really young, I lent a girl I liked a small stuffed hedgehog in return for….You know, come to think of it, I wouldn’t of got anything back, not even a kiss because I was young enough to think girls were icky! Infact, I was roughly 4 and its funny how you remember things from a remarkably small height.  She never gave it back Next up, my brothers. Everything I lend him comes back either sticky for some unknown reason, or never comes back at all. I lent my younger brother my guitar hero controller the other day, it came back covered in flakings of unidentifyble stickyness, I had to wipe off with a cloth. My older brother borrowed my memory stick, And not only did he break it (apparently in a door) but he didn’t even bloody offer me a replacement!

HOLY CRAP! I JUST REALISED I LENT HIM £5 YESTERDAY! I would of really rather donated it to a charity. Even a crap charity with more money then most local businesses like the salvation army, would have been less of a waste. Bugger.

Burger King are Traumatising the few sane people left in the world

Burger King describes the scent as seductive American fast food chain Burger King is marketing a men’s fragrance with the scent of meat. Called Flame, the company says the spray is “the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat”. The scent is on sale in New York for $3.99 (£2.65) and through a website that features a variety of romantic images – but no actual burgers. Its character the Burger King is also seen reclining almost naked in front of a log fire with whipped cream.

 

So let me get this straight. Burger King are now expanding to sell fragrances. Ah. Good topic. Lots to talk about. It beats following the trend, and posting about George Bush’s shoe incident too.

I’m wondering if they’re going to have an advert on TV for this? Hopefully it won’t be as shockingly dreadful as all other fragrance ads, which normally consist of shadows, or softened cloudy images of partially-nude/fully-nude women with a whispering voice telling you something is irrestible by Calvin Klein. If Calvein Klein made it, with what? His sweat? Toilet Water? None of these adverts even tell you what it bloody smells of, which happens to be thier selling point. A different theory of what this could be. Taking the phrase, “What’s one mans rubbish could be another mans gold” they have small mexican immigrants rummaging through peoples rubbish early in the morning, using straws to suck out the (and let me use the American phrase here, because a proper phrase doesn’t exist…yet) “Garbage Juice” and bottle it.

Or perhaps this is an elaborate conspiracy?! Yes, Burger King are finding reasons to fire thier employees, without seeming mean during the Christmas period and this Economic recession. Yes, Burger King don’t want to follow the trend of saying “I’m sorry, we just can’t afford to keep this restaurant up here, we’re going to have to let you go and close this particular one down” they want a different, and more evily genius plan. They release an Eau-du-toilette and eau-du-cologne, and when thier employees naturally go home smelling of grease, sprouting spots as they normally do, Burger King can go, “hang on a moment… You’ve been stealing our cologne! Oh that is it, you guys are fired.”

Whos really going to buy this? Especially where they’ve chosen to sell it too, New York. People there are already horrendously fat, and if they’re not horrendously fat it’s because they’re soft guitar playing students, up in the early hours surviving off either coffee or cocktails. Cue MGMT.  It’s quite cheap though, atleast they’ve thought the plan through, that if they’re going to sell some chokingly musky sweat from the workers of minimally paid immigrants, that the people who are going to buy it are going to be flat-broke, and therefore have no money. So they sell it at a very, VERY cheap price.

They say its the scent of seduction? Yes, it’s seduction alright if your so fat, you’re actually aroused by the thick pungent odour rising of a morbidly obese fatass who can’t walk AT ALL.  See the nice images this “fragrance” (if we can still call it that) paints in your head? I wonder how Burger King’s stocks are doing after the release of this? Lets check.

Smoothly sliding down. Like the squeegee smoothly slides down the folds of flab which they scrape the odour off of. I wonder if Burger King hire morbidly obese stockbrokers, so when the stocks do badly they can scrape thier sweat off into a bottle and sell it off to idiots willing to buy such crap? Well, I guess America has a whole different approach to odour. Seeing as half of Texas smells of sewage due to the ill-informed conservative hags yielding thier Sarah Palin shirts with pride. Someone ought to hurl a size 10 shoe at them.

Oh. Wait.

Star Trek Movie?!

I’ve just found out, that for some strange reason, there’s going to be a Star Trek Movie in May. Wow. I never got into Star Trek, partly because when it was really popular, I wasn’t born but I have seen all the cliche moments, and heard about all those classic bits. For example William Shatner’s frenetic movements which talking, and that crazy scottish doctor. You see these references all over the nerds sector of the internet, and its reflected in pop-culture all the time. I’m not a massive movie-goer but hang on a moment. Star Trek! Sometimes a film pops up and has so much hype, nobody will care if its good or bad. I predict it will be the biggest blockbuster producing movie of 2009, and if things go badly- It can’t go as wrong as Evan Almighty?

The trailer- ahaha, it’s so crap its destined to be AWESOME! Although the guy they got to replace Spock looks stupid. I say get Leonard Nimoy back. One thing the film could do without though, the cheesy romance sex part which I saw flash briefly in the trailer. To really appeal to trekkies, it must be all about explosions and space. 

 

But enough dawdling- I hear the Scouts prepping up for the next updates soon. I read on the steam forums some people’s ideas for the new pack, and my favourite idea was a tag-gun to replace the pistol. Basically you can tag people, and see where they are, so if your on Arena, alone you can avoid the big packs. I’ll take anything to stop that bastard shooting your sentry while peeking round corners.

Uhh…Hmmm. Oh, I have to do a bit more christmas shopping, I’ve ended up ordering everything off the internet. Lets hope to sweet moses/jesus/buddha/vishnu/xenu (bloody scientologists) that it arrives in time.

Two Major Points

The first major point is… wait, that’s no way to start a major point. 

Ahem. So, do any of you have SNES’s? I think if you did back in they day when they were good? (Never before have you had a console with advanced 3D Graphics! 3200 colours! The ultimate challenge is waiting!) Well, at the time they were good. Well, nowadays people can tinker about with those classic games all they like, and most of the time, they all deserve to be sued for copyright infringement.

But once in a while, as with most things, something brilliant will be released. And recently, that brilliant rip off remake is… Super Obama World! And it’s politically relevent! It’s difficult though, so difficult you’d want to throw a shoe at someone. And at the start of the loadup, you get to see the Pepsi advert which you see everywhere, with a woman with some particularly good breasts. Uhh, forget I said anything. Yeah, they’ve probably been photoshopped anyway. Pah. Falsies. 

The plot of the game involves you going through Alaska killing republicans and pigs (If I said same thing, that would be predictable.) As well as collecting American flag lapel pins. Get the delicious pie (I think it’s apple pie) to become Super Obama!

Now my second major point was…Croutons. As crazy as it sounds, Croutons should be in most salads (excluding the ones with chicken in them) to liven them up, and most soups (again, excluding thick broth-like soups, and soups with bits already in.) Although you shouldn’t eat croutons on thier own as a snack, because that’s just weird, and the odds are the yeast will make them expand in your stomach, and make you feel bloated. The second point as you might of been able to tell is just filler material

Also, where are all the good Christmas movies? I can’t think of any good movies which have been released this Christmas, which aren’t interesting, or intense, or arty. Although the arty and intense movies are always released all year round, so forget that. In late November it’s Jewish Film Week, and I saw some great movies then, but whats there to see now apart from Madagascar 2, some crappy keanu reeves (Who doesn’t deserve capitals in his name) movie, and horrific rehased material about Vince Vaughn in his romcom cliche moments of cheesy Christmas spirit?

And there haven’t been any good Christmas hits either this year, just X-factor winners being as unoriginal as possible and singing the most re-done song of the Christmas period ever. Nope, not deck the halls or…another generic chruch hymn, but Hallelujah, which was just a boring song to begin with. And because I was suffering from bronchitis in the last days of term, and subsequently missed the last days of term, I couldn’t use my greatest christmas plan of all time! I had a misteltoe hat, so I would get a kiss from someone. 

Anyone, I’m really that desperate. 

I’m kind of like JD from Scrubs actually O.o

Meanwhile on Audiosurf

Audiosurf is fun, if you have a mass of music like me. I have roughly 8GB of Music on my PC, which doesn’t seem like alot, and it’s not really, but it’s still enough to spend far too much time on audiosurf. Although I don’t play often, I’ve played a good amount this week because of the 4 songs on the Audiosurf radio. Some new Jonathan Coulton songs!  Chiron Beta Prime is a song which really appeals to me, because Sci-Fi themed things rock. It’s about in the future, robots have enslaved the human race, and are forcing some people to work on a meteor called Chiron Beta Prime, mining all day. But it’s Christmas, and the robots have sent them a pie. (Apparantly he loves his Soylent Green.)

Christmas is Interesting is a neat soft little song, and is quite nice overall, albeit slightly boring :\ But it’s as interesting as a stick in your eye, and I can relate to that song, because some people claim Christmas brings people together. For me and my family, it just exacabates the already hypened dysfunction. Next up, is Podsafe Christmas song, which is so annoying I played it once, and have never played it again. It has some irratating little chipmunks singing to a nursery rhyme themed song, which is almost as painful as when you go to the dentist and he scrapes the crap out from inbetween your teeth, with the sharpest implement known to all of medicine. There’s a handy amount of mods for Audiosurf too, and all of them almost work!

Finally, there’s a slightly less themed song, about Ikea, which is not bad, but not brilliant. It doesn’t adress the issue that everything Ikea sells is crap which is so shoddy it breaks in the car journey home. However it does point out that everything has a funny and weird name, which is truer then true pie which has been left outside to become more true, and presented in court on a base of trueosity. I’ve been watching alot of House recently, because i’ve found a website where I can watch it, as opposed to waiting for it to be on TV once or twice a week, when I normally miss.

Merry Christmas to all, but that’s about it.

I have little to say apart from Merry Christmas. My presents included….

Blackadder all season box set, Rowan Atkinson Live, some books ( I like books), Call of Duty world at war, tomb raider underworld, and most importantly…A numark TT USB turntable. So now to rip out all my parents old vinyl, and buy some of my own I’m off to soho to haggle with some backstreet vinyl stores.

So Happy Christmas, and enjoy your turkey, or alternatives if you’re a vegetarian. So that would be some potatoes and….beetroot? 

So far I’ve ripped out the obvious choices, like Earth, Wind and Fire and Stevie Wonder, but i’m choosing a few based on the covers. I found “Electric Light Orchestra” they had a cool, sci-fi looking front cover, and its symphonic rock, which is a pretty nice album. It’s a bit like Pink Floyd’s dark side of the moon, which reminds me, I have to go and buy that one. 

Also, I fear some of my readers are perverts. This is in the “top searches” box. 

Well, I can’t blame you, i’m not for hentai, I prefer real live women, but I can see your side of the argument too.

Call of Duty World at War

I got Call of Duty for xmas, and I finished the single player campaign.

If i’m brutally honest, the story isn’t too bad, but there’s no character depth, and all the American missions are abysmal to say the least.

I like running through streets with gun fire wailing through each ear, and having to either flank people, or snipe, or simple head on attack. Maybe even a few ambush moments or sneaking up on people. This is why I like the Russian-German Campaign. On the other hand, the american campaign is writhing through endless pits of the same terrain, of that boring, dull green swampy countryside. It’s essentially a thicker version of the call of duty 4 multiplayer map, Creek. Except it has dimwits who’ll pop up infront of you (stupidly) only to be mown down in a hail of gunfire. You’d think if they’ve gone to the trouble of hiding in foxholes, they’d have the competence of popping up behind you and smartly ambushing you? Nope, these geniuses probably want you to kill them. Then there’s the Banzai soldiers. They should attach florescent lights to each other, they’re that easy to kill.  They should atleast shoot at you as they amble towards you? They move just slightly faster then a dog with 2 legs, screaming at you, and there are hundreds of them.  Being a CoD4 veteran, completing it on veteran, I started on hardened. Overall it wasn’t too hard, until the tank level, where if you don’t keep moving at all times, you die within 5 seconds. Difficult to learn how to maneuver a tank at first, but your insane “friend” Rubashov (Atleast I think that was his name) thinks you’ve always driven tanks, since the day you were born. 

I think the Americans who made the game thought “Nah, they may have been allies in world war 2, but they’re COMMUNIST! MAKE THEM LOOK BAD I SAY!” The climax of making the russians look bloody insane, is when Rubashov slaps your buddy Chernov in the face with his interesting russian literature (which you should be allowed to read) and says in his stereotypical voice, “WHAT DO YOU THINK WILL GET US BACK HOME TO THE MOTHERLAND!? WRITING ABOUT THIS WAR OR FIGHTING IT?! IF YOU DON’T HAVE THE GUTS TO FIGHT FOR YOUR COUNTRY, ATLEAST SHOW ME YOU CAN DIE FOR IT!” 

Another point which makes the Russians look bad, was where some Germans surrendered, and you can either hastily kill them or refuse to kill them. They surrendered, and under the Geneva Conventions, you must take them as Prisoners of War. So I did, until Rubashov threw molotovs at them and laughed maniacally. Darn. In the same scenario, on the last American level, some Japanese dudes surrender. So the developers thought, “Lets make us Americans look unrealistic, and accept them all as prisoners of war, embrace them and share the love!” At this point, it’s so obvious what was going to happen, I facepalmed, for such a cliche.

Japanese Stereotype Soldiers. Surrendering. Not dying for thier country under any circumstances.

Hm. If I revealed any more it would be a massive spoiler, and it’s obvious what they do anyway.

The mission in the plane though, I adored as it was challenging, but not grindy. You don’t have to cower behind a rock, taking pot-shots like in some of the other levels, you have to aim and shoot with some skill required. Great! 

But I think the last level should be you, in the plane headed for Nagasaki, in a kind of panoramic view. Then, you get the decisive moments to hit F (the action button key) in a moment of ultra-realism, to see the bomb whistle to its destination, and blow a hole into the world as we know it. Then it could quote genuine real life events, as your co-pilots shudder in awe, with lines like “Dear god…what have I done?” and “Hey, do we have any more spaghetti hoops? I’m starving dude.”

Forget the second line. Maybe I’ll download the mod making kit and do it myself! Multiplayer is good though, bar a few maps for example Downfall (dreadful, DREADFUL map.) And the best thing about PC version? It has mods like a server where you get 1000xp per kill.

Yes, Levelling is now ultra-ultra easy. I’ll probably do a few levels of prestige, because they got rid of camoflauges on the guns

Overall so far, Good! I’ll go more into Multiplayer when I play it. Also, GTA IV- I have some glitches and bugs with it for now, but I hope to fix those. Meanwhile, my birthday is on the 6th January, so hopefully I’ll get some decent stuff then? Perhaps Dead Space or Bioshock?

My two Xmas TV Highlights

Two things on TV I really really enjoyed, both being on BBC- so you can catch it on the Iplayer if you’re quick enough

One. Wallace and Gromit- A matter of Loaf and Death.

Wallace and Gromit can never, ever be bad. It wasn’t as good as were-rabbit, but that was a whole feature length film. Loaf and Death was slow to start, and riddled with cliches, but thats the thing about W+G. It takes the cliches, and makes them into good things, amusing things, entertaining things! 30 minutes long, and a sweet story. My favourite thing about Wallace and Gromit- it’s not the main storyline, keep an eye out for the things in the background, and the subtle puns and references. Like at the end, very quickly, Gromit looks through his record collection- there’s Poochini and The Hound of Music.

Second best thing, which was on Christmas Eve- The Peter Serofinowicz Show. He’s a good comedian, sometimes on Have I Got News For You- but it doesn’t look like improvised stuff is his kind of stuff. His show is full of clever and amusing little sketches, I particularly liked the apple adverts sketches on it. The best thing about these kind of sketches- So funny, yet so true.

However, I got the feeling it was quite complete, I think it could of done with a bit more polish and shine, to truly be funny. It’s not the actors though, it’s the script. I like how in the BBC Comedy selection you see all the different people pop up in each others show- If you watch Little Britain one of the characters from Fat Fighters, in in Little Britain.

The guy in the show who goes “Congratulations! You’ve passed the test” or “NO! You’ve failed the test” reminds me of Reynholm from the IT crowd.

Aaaah- the BBC Iplayer, what would I do without it?

Thank you Play.com! /sarcasm

Brilliant! The things which I ordered for my mum off the internet for christmas finally arrived! 22 days late!

But I’m sure she’ll enjoy her unwrapped CD’s of music I don’t particularly like, but I’ll have to grimace and put on a brave face to hear horrific latin-American music pounded out from overpowered speakers. Meanwhile, I’m looking for a new pair of speakers. I could go with a big name brand like Bose, or Sennheiser, but they’re waaaay out of my price range. I’ll do some more investigation.

Onto gaming- I’ve finally, and miraculously gotten GTA IV to work! sort of. If I patch it up, it will slap me in the face with other problems, like refusing to run under the cause that it has  no texture depth, so i’m left only to play single player. Anyway, why is there no anti-aliasing options? Everything has razor sharp edges I’ve done the first mission, but I’m still playing a fair wad of CoDWaW multiplayer. Prestige is great and all for boasting, showing off, and belittling others with incorrect grammar, but when there are servers where you can get 10,000xp per kill, it’s completely meaningless. Anyway, level 9 Prestige has the best badge Here is a table to brighten up my wall of text.

I haven’t even played any Tomb Raider Underworld yet It’s my birthday on the 6th of January, so hopefully i’ll get some money then, so I can waste it all on a mouse with an extra button. Namely… either the Logitech G5, or the Logitech G7. Then again, I’m thinking of not spending any and get some music, as theres a notepad file on the desktop with a list of music I want to buy

As Christmas is done, singing Slade is meaningless. Finally

For the new year

The odds are I won’t be posting until the New Year, and because I’m obsessively organised, I’m going to announce this

So, happy new year, and see you in January. May this amusing image of a flying squirrel named Rufus keep you entertained until then.

Concerned 2

Back in the day when Half-Life 2 was new and gasp-worthy, Some guy took it upon himself to make with Gmod- An internet comic about the adventures of a bumbling nitwit called Gordon Frohman. The odds are if you peruse  the internet, you would have probably read or seen the comic and realised it’s funny. The writer Chris Livingston went on to think about doing a Team Fortress 2 based comic, but decided not to and does a blog which I frequently spam comment on (to get viewers )

Very very recently, someone has decided to continue the Concerned trilogy, even though he’s not Chris Livingstone. It’s okay though, because he points out he’s a rip off and frequently makes you know that he’s a dirty thief! The comic isn’t brilliant, but hopefully it should get better. 

http://aconcernedrip-off.webs.com/ Is the site, and just google “Gordon Frohman” to get the original and slightly better comic.

Unrelated- Happy New Year! I went to a party where everyone my age got slightly to alcohol-poisoned levels of drunkeness. I myself don’t even like the taste of most beers, so I didn’t drink any. I stuck to Coke and sparkling water Someone truly and inconsoliably stupid mixed drinks, and filled a whole bucket up with vomit, and that’s excluding half of the vomit which didn’t make it to the bucket in time. It was purple. Aaah, I hate the majority of human life around my age. But still, there’s little alternative, unless I choose to masturbate myself into a coma.

again…

I also saw the movie In Bruges. Eh, not bad, not brilliant, but I thought it was meant to be a comedy? It had the same kind of humor they used in Bad Santa.

This post has been edited to correct Chris Livingstone to Livingston. Sorry, you picky bastard.

 I kid. My mistake :p

RPGs

I really, really hate RPGs, but today I saw a brilliant fantastic deal. Recently that Virgin megastores chain Zavvi went into administration, and by chance I was passing by and went inside. I bought a nice pile of music which maybe i’ll write about later, but one thing which really stood out- Mass Effect for £5. Now I stood there, staring mindlessly at this gaming thinking “Should I buy it? Should I leave it?”

This is because I really, really hate RPGs. Whether it’s the boring choice-making kind, or the endless grinding kind, I hate (most) RPGs. I took a chance, and bought it. While I should be hammering away with revision for some French GCSEs to do on the 21st, I found a niche of time to play some of this Mass Effect, and so far, I  think my £5 is not well spent.

The part where you choose you’re character is horrific, and I opted for a female character seeing as the male ones had some revealing crotch-plating, and were probably 60 years too old, but as with most RPGs, you spend the first however long making choices. This is my darkest, grimmest hour. Do I want to be a colonist or spacer? Ruthless or War Hero? So many choices The worst part was choosing a face. I knew as a fact for the majority of the game i’d be covered in armor, and the face would be irrelevent, but I couldn’t just leave it as it is…

I won’t be playing much (if any) over the next 3 days, as I timed myself stupendously poorly, and as a result I have to do 4 sets of french questions within the next 3 days. I just hope other people can learn from my mistake and do french speaking questions as early as possible xD

Proof RPG’s Induce Evil in it’s purest form

I thought there would be a bit more violence. The moments of fun fighting and killing, laced with strategic placement of your hired goons, is horribly ruined knowing that the moment will be over within the next 7.4 seconds, and the even worse fact that right after you’ll have to carry on a message like the relay pigeon you are to some butt-fugly alien. Also, I don’t want to be too much of a geek revealing this, but alot of these aliens couldn’t have advanced to a space-travelling stage which they are at. For a start, they don’t have opposable thumbs. And why are all the aliens humanly shaped? Surely an alien from a distant planet would have evolved differently?

More importantly, WHY DO THEY ALL SPEAK BLOODY ENGLISH?! I want to hear alien dialects! I Didn’t learn fluent Klingon for nothing Anyway, I made my character female, but throughout playing as her I began to get a sense of dejavu. I was wondering…Why does this person look familiar?

Unfortunately, It hit me. Despite being badass and always choosing the negative speech option, there is no running away from this cruel, horrendous fact. My character, is a less wrinkled version..of Hillary Clinton.

When she lost to Obama, she should have been returned to the depths of hell forever but it’s too late, she has been reincarnated, in an RPG form. Well it makes sense, RPGs are evil.

Meanwhile, these english speaking racist aliens (They all hate humans, damnit, wheres Martin Luther King Jr when you need him?) are clearly humans themselves, from Louisiana to be precise. Party like like its Mardi Gras!

And I stopped fiddling around with the theme, its back to the original, minimalistic but soft theme I first started with

Mass Effect/GTA IV/Wha, Non-video games?!

For some strange reason this morning, my computer decided to fail to start, and I had to do a system recovery. Despite it promising it won’t affect any of my files, all my Mass Effect files were corrupted and I had to start again

Things aren’t all bad, I made my character look less like Hillary Clinton…..And more like Sarah Palin. 

Just kidding, my character looks almost the same, but with different colour hair, and a different mouth which may not sound like much, but it avoids the trap of looking like a failed despot I’ve fixed GTA IV and patched it, so now I am free to play multiplayer however, today, the 6th of January…

Is my Birthday Now that’s out of the way, I can go back to playing GTA IV.

Tinselworm

Bill Bailey is performing down in Shaftsbury avenue, at the Gielgud, which is a neat little theatre next to the long running Les Miserables. I really enjoyed it overall, especially when he said “My neighbors at Les Miserables complain sometimes, that the dramatic french revolutionary scene is ruined by a faint background noise of fun and happiness, and a sing-a-long of La Bamba.”  Yes, I learned the lyrics to la bamba. Now I don’t just need to hum

It involved many different things- Serbian moustaches on Jeremy Paxman, David Cameron dancing, The Star Wars Imperial March played in a gospel format, and Nazi Gold. I plan to try walking into UBS one day and asking to open an account with…. NAAZI GOOOLD. Its a show I would consider seeing again, because its a comedy act but with rehearsed (and musical) material. For example, he said Australia in a joke, and 5 people (below me) “Wooooed” (if thats the word to describe the wooing noise) and he went on a short trail about Australia, and an amusing story about one time he was in Perth. I don’t quite remember how we got there, but for some reason the A303 road was a mini reocurring joke throughout. I liked how he used the Theremin too, the coolest yet most unloved intrument of them all.

For me, When he did his musical bits, it made the show that much more engaging because it was so relatable “I never quite understood emo music…” Well, because I doubt any of you are actually going to see Tinselworm, I’m going to ruin what he did. Some gentle (depressed) piano music about a Starbucks employee (who possibly self-harms) with some hilarious lyrics, then in breaks into a heavy metal rock headbanging scene, stopped and swapped back to the piano. Funny, funny stuff.

I should probably point out the only flaw I found in it though: Right at the end his keyboard stopped working, and through a small series of laughs, I think he had to miss out an anecdote because of it, but he subtly convinced the audience otherwise with a clever “Weh-hey!” 

Which reminds me, I think Frankie Boyle is overrated. In his standup he just rehashes material off Mock the Week (actually to be honest, all the comedians regurlarly on the show do that) and it tends to be one liners fired off into a bucket of recycled chum. Still, definitely not as bad as Jimmy Carr. He is just, well…Dreary to say the least  So all in all, if he happens to be performing near you- Go and see it The seats at the Gielgud were all pretty good, don’t be fooled by thier plan to get you to buy a £50 ticket in the stalls

And I emplore you to check out my latest and greatest Cheezburger. Its for Punditkitchen I’m currently now working on a secret (British Politics related) project, for YTMND.

Looking for a job?

In this recession, many, many people have unfortunately lost thier jobs. Back on the open market, the task of finding a new job seems daunting. Well, as a teenager who doesn’t need to go to work or earn money, I thought it would be brilliantly useful with my extended knowledge on life in a workplace to provide a handy list of jobs which flourish in the chernoybl-comparison market.

Politician – Have you ever noticed the fact that all politicians can’t actually relate to the average schmoe? I mean, they can relate to me, but i’m not an average schmoe. Nope, the average british smchoe (I like to use that word) is infact a fairly tubby middle aged man. A teenager with severe acne and doesn’t feel the need to do anything about it. That fuckwad who thinks its good to play music outloud off his ultra-expensive and equally useless phone. (What’s wrong with these assholes? I don’t read from my newspaper aloud.) Yes, he buys the sun, and therefore buys into the right wing hypocritical propaganda. Oh crap, I’m getting too into politics. Although it’s kind of relevent for this job… If you chose to get a job as a politician, you can relate to the above “average schmoe.” (My views above make me look like a snob, but….No comment.) Walk to work in full tracksuits and a flat cap, speak regurlarly with yo, bling and innit, and get young chavs to get voting! Don’t listen to Boris Johnson’s ridiculous plans of forcing chavs to learn latin, even I find latin boring some of the time, and only do it because it will be useful for when I want to go to med-school. So, go for a politican if you’re a chav-scumbag!

Musician – It is true, when the world is in a bad place, the music world shines. Forget the mainstream crap, you can’t compete with a scantily clad african-american making millions for uncreative, boring and shitty songs which only appeal to 10 year olds and morons, go for the more obscure genres. Five examples of obscure music genres by googling music genres are…

1. Spacesynth = Sounds awesome to me But i’m a sci-fi geek. The noise which I set for when my computer starts up is the five noted sound which reoccurs through the movie “Close Encounters of the Third Kind.”
2. Epic Doom Metal = Sounds appauling, but the kind of stuff where you can just laugh away at
3. Lowercase = Imagine the sounds of an examination room. Now imagine that, while you’re completely deaf. Now you don’t have to with Lowercase music!
4. Bitpop = Not Britpop, bitpop. Its the same as 8-bit MIDI soundtracks on the classic SNES games, or more recently, Wii Music. (Worst. Game. Ever. Actually, i’d really love to download the original comic book guy sound clip of that.)
5. Nintendocore = Its Bitpop but… mixes in elements of metal, black metal, death metal, hardcore, hardcore metal, metalcore and metal metal.

Something in the Job Agency business - Don’t follow ensuite with the job-seekers! Lead them! Get a job answering phones and telling people they fail at life and should consider suicide. Nobody loves them and it’s thier own fault they’ve lost thier job. I myself should get a job at the suicide hotline, seeing as they banned my number for being too depressing.

Porn – Low, low option, but it has to be included. Look in the back of newspapers in the want ads. It’s not as seedy as it seems- “Great Conditions and good pay” And so what? So a bunch of strangers see your wang. Whoop de doo. Get over it. Its the human body, why is it bad? Stupid political correctness. Oh right. You’ll be thrusting it back and forth in a pleasing manner.

.Hedgefund manager – There are none of these about at the moment, Not quite sure where they went, but it leaves the market open. Go go go!

Okay, so looking for jobs doesn’t suit you. Well, I haven’t ruled out everything. Seeing as the GBP is so weak, emigrate to poland, work as a builder and you’ll be making loads! Genius, eh? So if you’re broke, desperate, and looking for a job, head up to these interviews with my simple advice. Wear nice shoes. (I’m actually serious, shoes are one of those things which make you look better or worse. )

Following the Trend

Big Note: Not all blogs run by teenagers are how I described below. For example, a good blog I like to read is this one. I read it because the writer obviously has some style and wit to put the lyrics of a Gil Scott Heron song in his blog. There’s also J-mans blog which I can’t spell properly.

Following the trend of many other angsty, whiny blogs run by pretentious fellow teenagers, whining on about why thier lives are unbearable and they have distressing problems which can only be solved by wearing too much mascara and immensely tight jeans, I have also decided to make a post on the internet, expecting people to care. Yes, doing what they do, i’m going to post a song which I like lyrics.

“I don’t want help with my problems, I want to suffer alone but make sure everyone knows about it!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I01sWilEe_Q

That’s the song, and here are the lyrics!

 

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…

…

 

Well, it was a split up between either that trendy broken beats/ Nu Jazz song, or Living in the Sunlight by Tiny Tim. hmm…Wouldn’t that be hilarious if a typical whiny person described as above, compared his life to Tiny Tim’s upbeat song?

My apologies.

Yesterday in my post for jobs in a recession, I made a mistake.

I claimed the porn industry is a good place to go. Well, by pure chance, today in the newspaper “The LondonPaper” which is free and distrubuted by tube stations, I read that Larry Flynt, a fat cat in the industry of filming people in erotic poses, is also suffering. He approached Washington’s congress to ask for a £3.3Billion Bailout. I’m currently looking for a source of what he asked exactly, because this sounds hilarious.

Also, my new Mouse (logitech g5) arrived No more mouse lag, battery replacing and disconnections for me! And there’s an extra button- One for FRAPS and one can be for….Hmmm…Macros.

Brace Yourselves

I’m just warning everyone, there’s going to be a drought of posts for a couple of weeks, as I have some moderately important exams to do. I’ll update when I can, but it won’t be as frequent as I normally do.

Here comes the politically correct train!

LONDON – A BRITISH man has been told he and his wife cannot adopt children because he is so fat that the authorities fear he will die, he said on Monday. Mr Damien Hall, who stands six feet, one inch (1.85 metres) tall, weighs 24 and a half stone (155 kilogrammes). He therefore has a body mass index (BMI) of more than 42 and is thus considered morbidly obese.

The call centre worker, 37, and his nanny wife Charlotte, 31, cannot have children of their own and approached Leeds City Council in northern England, about adopting. But their local authority told them that Mr Hall must get his BMI down below 40 before they can be considered as potential parents due to concerns over his weight. ‘The bottom line is I’m too fat,’ he told BBC radio. ‘It’s hard to lose weight under pressure. I’m not a couch potato and I don’t sit eating takeaways every night. ‘I just feel as though we were only judged on my weight and not all the other good things about us. ‘We don’t drink or smoke and we could give a child a happy and safe home.’

The letter the couple received from Leeds City Council said they were unable to process their adoption application ‘due to the concerns that the medical advisers have expressed regarding Mr Hall’s weight.

‘The Adoption Panel are unlikely to approve applicants with a BMI over 40 because of the long term health risks. ‘It would therefore be to your advantage to begin the assessment with an up to date medical where your BMI is clearly recorded as being under 40 and to demonstrate that you are able to maintain this weight loss over the period of the assessment.’ Mrs Charlotte Hall said the letter was ‘gutting’ and ‘to be turned down flatly just on that, it’s just harsh. ‘We’re here ready to take a child on. ‘They seem to be saying it’s better for them to be in care and being shoved from pillar to post just in case Damien dies.’

In a statement, Leeds City Council explained: ‘The council’s adoption service has a legal responsibility to ensure that children are placed with adopters who are able to provide the best possible lifelong care. ‘Part of this responsibility is advice for applicants on a range of suitability criteria, including any health and lifestyle issues which may impact on an applicant’s long term ability to adopt.’ — AFP

To sum up, someone is too fat to adopt, incase he dies of a heart attack. What’s the risks of living at home with a fat guy? Oh, sorry, A Morbidly obese guy? Well, if he’s behind you and trips down the stairs, you’re dead. He could get stuck in doorways, and you might be the unlucky guy to clean his feet since he can’t fit in the shower, and can’t see his own toes.

You’d think a council of the Government, (therefore making them all uptight politically correct bastards) would see the huge contradiction in not letting him adopt because he’s fat.

Everyone dies, so if he adopted his dad would have died early. Big whoop. Think optimistically for once- 

• You wouldn’t be told when to go to bed.
• You could eat whatever stuff you liked. (Although not suggested, you’d end up like your father)
• You wouldn’t need to listen to all the boring lessons of life, like not making toast in the shower. (Tried this before- Its genius! I got to school and subsequently hospital earlier then regular!)
• No parental pressure or high expectations

But the best point? Your life could be a revovling circle! Your parents die. So you go to new foster parents. They die of…lets say…World of Warcraft exposure. New parents. So you live out of a suitcase, and in the end pay the price of a severely emotionally traumatised life, working shitty night shifts as a lowly paid security guard in a museum.

Some people say i’m too mean. To them, I say poppycock!

I managed to make a post in the midst of my revision and work. Yaaaaaaaay.

Purple Shirted Eye Stabber is real!

HUNTSVILLE, TX ― A Grayson County man sentenced to die for killing his wife, her daughter and their son, gouged out his other eye in prison last month.

According to the warden at the state prison in Huntsville, death row inmate Andre Thomas gouged out his left eye in early December and then ate it.

Five days after the murders in March 2004, Thomas gouged out his right eye inside a Grayson County jail cell after reading a Bible verse.

The state’s top Criminal Appeals Court upheld Thomas’ conviction and death sentence back in October of 2008.

Thomas is now in a psychiatric prison facility in Richmond, Texas.

No execution date has been set.

AWESOME! That’s all I have to say on the matter, it’s so gorily, sick, yet fantastic. Imagine when the warden found him. “AAAaaah. You funny guy!”

Pimpdog MillionPimp

I saw it, I liked it, I review it.

It had one of those storylines, but being such a cynic I feel no compassion or need to find love, therefore do not understand it. So perhaps that why I think the story was a bit iffy.

As good as it was, it just wasn’t truly realistic enough. It showed a teensy bit what it’s like in an Indian slum, but alot of it wasn’t real enough.  Like how forgiving the main character was.

Infact, the main charactar was appauling. He just sat there with a whitewashed blank face throughout the whole bloody movie. But perhaps I disliked it because of the first reason? I really hated Wall-E because I knew robots don’t feel love, and wouldn’t be able to survive the vast vacuum of space, but people shunned me for that reason.

Fuck them, Pixar screwed up with that one! And it was just rehashing old material for crying out loud. Wall-E (because it’s not wally) is a made-over version of Beauty and the Beast, and Lady and the Tramp.

Fucking Disney, and now they’ve come out with Beverly Hills Chihuaha. They have some sort of dog obsession….Bloody furries.

So I dunno, if you have ever felt anything which can be transcribed as warmth to a fellow human being, go see Slumdog Millionaire. Seeing as I only love myself and my cat, it wasn’t too long. And I couldn’t truly enjoy the whole film because I thought it was one of the teachers at my school sitting directly infront of me throughout. Luckily it was just a lookalike. (possibly identical twin?!)

Lets get down to moosic. Do you like jazz, but think it’s no longer as cool as it once was, all the pioneers kicking the bucket, and it needs some sort of revamp? Well, look no further dear friends, I introduce ye to Soil and “PIMP” Sessions. If you don’t spell thier name like that, its not them. They’re japanese, and have livened up the old scene of the dark blues club, where you lean back in your chair comfortably bopping your head ever so slightly. They have 3 proper albums- Planet Pimp, Pimp Master, and Pimpoint. As you can see, they love pimps. Difficult to find stuff, so if you’re feeling risky and want to risk £10, go for it off Amazon, Pimpoint is probably my favourite album, and it has a gloriously remastered version of MArk Murphy’s classic “Red Clay.”

If you don’t you could drive a knife through the heart of the music industry, but you’d have to find some certain websites. However then you’d be a PIRATE and have to keep the police at BAY.

A dear friend gone

Today, the 20th January, I doubt I’ll be seeing a close friend again. He’s always been there, making jokes, and generally being stupid, but in a good way. He should of been part of the Three Stooges, because he had the perfect charactar traits. And when he defended such things for example prisoners in Guantanamo Bay, he always did it lightheartedly and jokingly. Whatever he said would be genuinely funny, every time always. 

So, here’s to you, buddy I’ll miss you.

Yup, I’ll miss you buddy. Planning a retirement vacation?

I suggest Iraq, they’ll give you a discount pacakge holiday, I hear the hotels are brilliant! People’s own words back from Iraq:

It’s a blast!

It’s a bomb!

The Shrapnel isn’t crapnel! …That one was crap.

Finito

I’ve done the hardest part of my exams now, and have less work so regular posting shall resume!

Which is good because now I have more time to play a game which i’ve had since xmas but haven’t played any: Tomb Raider Underworld. I also plan to play Gears of War again now acheivments on! Right now i’m drinking coffee to see if I want to swap it for tea, and seem more nonchalant in general.

Well, this tastes too strong, I don’t have refined enough tastebuds to like it. 

I’m getting tired of Google’s predictable search bar, because it’s not predicting what I want at all. All i wanted to know is what to do if I had a bad day, and when I get to “if” the first result is “what to do if you’re raped.”  

Crayola are probably trying to take over the world. If I don’t post again it’s because they’ve put me in a black sack and killed me behind the public’s eye.

Anyway, beginning on the Join the Crayola community today! Why? How can a crayon brand have a community? And surely it’s community would consist entirely of thier fanbase? That being… Just babies. So how would babies get onto a computer? Well, to see if they restrict thier valued customers, I’m now going to pretend I was born in 2006.

Ok, that didn’t work, you need a parent email. I’ll just use my real DoB.But before I proceed I want to point out, the benefits of being a crayola member. 

Personalized Newsletter!

Learn about everything Crayola has to offer! Be the first to learn about new Crayola products for your kids or your classroom.

Coloring pages

Lesson plans

CrayolaStore.com special offers

Crayola Beginnings Newsletters

Age-appropriate advice for children 9–36

I’ll just take out the best bits of being a member-

Colouring pages! For when your too stupid to come up with your own drawings!

Special offers! Get £0.36 of a £50 pack of crayons!

Newsletters! Keep up to date with the crayon industries new products! Like chloroform based crayons!

Advice for your child! Thats right, no don’t raise your children how you want, don’t even read a stupid book! Get great advice on raising your kids from Crayola! And thats not it, Crayola continue to tell you how to raise your children wrong up until the age of 36!

That’s all for now, but if anybody finds it entertaning perhaps I shall investigate more.

Also I’ve picked up nobody likes my music posts, so less of those then!

Goat detained over Armed robbery

LAGOS (Reuters) – Police in Nigeria are holding a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

Vigilantes took the black and white beast to the police saying it was an armed robber who had used black magic to transform himself into a goat to escape arrest after trying to steal a Mazda 323.

“The group of vigilante men came to report that while they were on patrol they saw some hoodlums attempting to rob a car. They pursued them. However one of them escaped while the other turned into a goat,” Kwara state police spokesman Tunde Mohammed told Reuters by telephone.

“We cannot confirm the story, but the goat is in our custody. We cannot base our information on something mystical. It is something that has to be proved scientifically, that a human being turned into a goat,” he said.

Belief in witchcraft is widespread in parts of Nigeria, Africa’s most populous nation. Residents came to the police station to see the goat, photographed in one national newspaper on its knees next to a pile of straw.

No comment.

Meanwhile, think to yourself of a really crap joke. I mean an absolutely crap joke, so crap it doesn’t even give you a slight smirk. A crap joke so bad you want to write it out on paper and forcefeed the person the paper. Got it? Now click here- Tell your joke outloud, nevermind looking like a pillock,  and click here.  Only click the big red button after the joke! 

Yes, I have no life.

News just in: My internet is broke.

For some reason I posted my article twice because the internet is broke. I’ve just removed that, and so now i’ll comment on GTA IV. Apologies.

GTA IV is great and all, but the script just sucks. I was going to save my fat bumbling cousin from yet another Russian kidnapping, when I charge in with my assortment of guns. It starts off stealthily..until I kill the first guy. I simply pop my head up from behind cover to blow his face off. Everyone else starts shooting me and in that cliche way, they position themselves next to explosives.

Seeing as explosives only go off if you shoot them with an rpg, I took out a few with a sniper rifle diving under cover, then blew up the explosives. This goes on until I climb a few more floors, but what I don’t get is that why stealth is ruined because you decide to start screaming “FUCK YOU” “FUCK YOUR MOTHER” “DON’T FUCK WITH MY FAMILY” and of course, the all time classic “GOD BLESS THIS CITY” …which is irrelevent and ruins the mood.

Some wise guys decide to position themselves on an incomplete girder, so I shoot them in the foot and laugh at they stumble back to fall to a slow and painful death. There are also some smart guys on a tilted roof, who have no problem standing up on the slippery surface but as soon as you shoot near them, they slide to thier demise. Also funny. 

Although the script is dire (excluding on the radio, where a judge sets fire to people) the voice acting is good, and the story is impeccable, full of twists. 

And the new patch somehow means I can crank up the graphics some more, without there being any lag. Superb

Meanwhile, I have man flu. It may just be a runny nose and slightly sore throat, but it’s MAN FLU DAMNIT.

Mirrors Edge on the Xbox

Instead of spending money on Mirror’s Edge (Which I wouldn’t have bought anyway, (because it doesn’t have pointless, gratuitious violence around every corner) I happened to play it on the Xbox 360, at a friends house! Let me sum up the game, for those who don’t have time to read on.

LB, RB, LB.

That’s all you need to know for how to play. Literally, everything you do involves that tapping order, and it’s not even an exagguration. Really, LB is jump, and the game is just jumping off everything. And although it is pretty to see yourself running across a city, its too fiddly and precise, and if you miss you’ll just plummet horrifically to your doom, to the dark brooding streets on this monstropolis/utopia.  Infact, that city is a beautiful place! It’s so modern and clean, and there’s no crime because it clearly has the most effective and brutal secret police in the world! Infact, it’s so modern, they even paint the trees white.  

Your character is a free-runner, in a city where running is bad and therefore running is a prosecutable offense and so if you run anywhere people with shotguns will try to kill you, despite them having the crappiest weapons and worst trained police in the history of any city. Really, a massive, super guard, A cross between the hulk and a combine soldier and be easily disarmed by a girl who can run from here to Africa and not get tired.

I don’t know the rest of the storyline, only because I just played random supposedly good missions, which still were pretty dire.

Graphics are pretty, but the running bits are bluntly cut out when you have to find out where and how to run. Just because you see a red pole, doesn’t mean pressing LB RB LB will work on it. You need intricate timing. 

So overall, I give this game a 2.7/10. Perhaps I’m being too harsh, perhaps not.

4Chan sucks

Well, it sort of does, but if you get past the porn and smut on /b/ you might find a mildly amusing photo. It gives you a nice sense of joy you’re above the memes and smut to find a mildly hilarious conspiracy on cats, with no jokes going “AHAHA CAT = PUSSIES” Because people on /b/ are beyond that, while not posting penis pictures, they’d instead go for something slightly more higher brow.

Yeah, to some it’s as bad as it looks and they’ll never try it, and I understand that view, Because i’m like that with WoW. Here’s an example of that somethingwhichisntsmut point-

See not bad? American Politics related.  But really, going onto 4chan makes me feel shame and guilt, just because of the taboo. Hovering over my bookmarks to click it is like me putting on some khaki uniform, a helmet, and running in going “GET OVER THAT SHINGLE” with bullets whistling all around me. Saving Priavte Ryan style of course

Next up, i’m sort of known as a cyncial young chap, who nobody knows the deeper layer of heartwarming love underneath. Unfortunately, that layer is buried deeper then the biscuit crumbs of a 50ft trifle. So when I describe something as cute, or heartwarming, or lovemelting etc, it means something. This article made me feel a feeling i’ve never, ever felt before. Ever.  That postman does have a offputting smile though

Infact, can anyone name one evil postman, apart from the IRA postman who make letterbombs, and the one who was arrested a couple of years ago because he stole people’s private and confidential mail?

Not going to change my mind of eating meat though. Speaking of eating meat, I get to work in a vetenarian’s office for a day. Just thought I’d post that on the internet so 0.000000847% of the human race can see.

I think that’s my world percentage statistic anyway. Not a bad post today for a post when I had nothing particular to write about. OH FUCK, FORGOT ABOUT THE NEW TF2 STUFF! Alright, I’ll dig into that tomorrow and possibly try once more to get the WordPress music uploadydoodle to work.

Happy Chinese New Year and Introducing a new category

Chinese New Year. I went into chinatown in london with my good SLR camera, and a digital camera. I got 4 shots with the digicam, and 72 shots with the SLR. Well, here are my 3 shots, and when I develop the films, i’ll scan the photos in and show you my satirical photo-skills. Infact, There were loads of photographers there, but they all had ultra expensive and fancy looking kits, while they probably don’t realise that doesn’t make thier shots look any better. I just went in my humble Pentax Camera, and fired away.

Being a kid, it was easy to sneak past the security and get up close to the dragon, and it was entertaining too. Next time i’ll make a fake press pass to get onto the mainstage, so I can greet Boris Johnson with a communist poster with him on it, made as a pasta collage. I didn’t wait around too long, I left at about 3pm because it was getting dark, and because I didn’t have thin gloves, I wore no gloves, and I thought my hand was about to fall off due to frostbite. (The effect of cross-breeding a vampire and a yeti.) Actually it snowed a bit before I left and after I got back, and because I ran out of money on my bus pass, the dick wouldn’t allow me to top up on the bus, and I thought, “Fuck it, fuck you, and fuck your whole bus driving corporation, i’m walking home you douche.” But being far too British and polite I just got off the bus and started walking home with a scarf wrapped tightly around my face looking at the floor in sadness.

Now before I post these digital camera pictures, i’m not going to lie. They’re shit. I’m going to retouch the only good one in photoshop and make a neat little photomanip. Other than that, my SLR shots are in black and white. Yes, I prefer colour but when you’re making a bulk display, if everything is in colour it loses its power and makes it look more like a photo album. If I scanned in a few good shots of the black and white pictures, then added colour into certain parts like in that crap movie Sin City, it would look fantastic I think. However because I develop my own pictures instead of leaving them in a shop for a week or so, this could take a while.

So those are my worst 3 photos. Also, does anyone care whether or not there’s a message if you hover the mouse over a photo? I’ve done it for 99% of the images on my blog, but I doubt anyone looks.

Hmmmm…What else before I go…..

I swapped from Google Chrome to Firefox. I was just so sick and tired of not being able to access youtube without swapping to IE, and couldn’t click on all the amusing links off Steam Chatrooms, so I’m with Firefox now. I like some of the add-ons, like Cooliris for flickr, which just displays pictures in an innovative and cool looking way, but there’s too much going on at the top. I just want a thin tab bar, bookmark bar and navigation bar, and I’m done. Firefox’s are too big, as if to say “LOOK, LOOKIE HERE, I HAVE A NAVIGATION BAR LOOK AT MEEE!”

And I just fixed my grammar too. Well…some of it.

Scrubs Season 8 is Appauling

I’m not just off on one of my rants of endless cynicism and poor grammar. I’ve now seen the first 6 episodes of Scrubs season 8, and each one is crappier then the last. Carla has less lines.Infact, Carla has vanished off the planet.

Scrubs has had it’s time. Now it’s just stale. JD’s amusing naivity has worn thin and is now just irratating. Of course that said, it doesn’t mean it’s completely dull and crap. there are a few good jokes, all of them coming from the Janitor…Speaking of which, he is boycotted from an episode for some reason…

Anywho, Dr Kelso shouldn’t have been made into a retiree, what’s the point? He served a brilliant character being a miserly, money whoring bastard, and now he’s opening up to become a friendly, kind old man. Yet he just loiters around the hospital for the whole time. All realism has been sapped out.

And for some reason, the cameraman has fucked up and now everything has gone all hollywood; plastic people with more makeup on thier faces then the chinese industry can produce per month. They’re faces are too smooth and too unrealistic. If they were real doctors having to be up early, with irrational hours, they’d be tired or atleast not as smooth? On the topic of face-smoothness, the fact JD has grown a beard, ruins it.

He keeps the naivity of his character, but grows a beard, and these two factors fight each other like a schizophrenic rapist.  But what really did it, what truly and honestly pissed me off, was the fact that Dr. Cox is being nice to JD. WHY?! Of course his hilarious minirants of hatred get old, but it doesn’t make them unimaginative. When he opens up to be friendly to JD in one scene, I just couldn’t bear to watch anymore. It’s too cringeworthy. But I did watch more, only to find more points to complain about.

There aren’t even plots in the episodes…I just watched an episode when an unrealisitic depthless JD talks to an unrealistic depthless extra who can’t connect to anything, and they spend the episode whining about thier girl problems together. Screw this, I’m going to watch House!

But I dunno, watch it for yourself, decide whether you like it or not. But I’m sure 99% of people who read this will agree, it’s had it’s time, it’s not as good as it once was.

Spam attacks

Well, it’s not a spam attack as such, because it’s one guy. But- One guy is enough!

Commenting on my post on Scrubs, it wrote

Richard February 6, 2009 at 11:57 am

Hi Roadrunner
I find your blog when I search “Roadrunner’s PC Gaming Blog, But a bit of everything really” in Ovary, and enjoyed reading your post about “Scrubs Season 8 is Appauling“.
You can find more information about the same in ovary search engine. you can search for any particular web page by entering the title or keyword, you can search up to ten search engine at one time from the Ovaru interface.
I find your blog really interesting: plenty of things to discover here!

His search engine sounded like ovary. I don’t want to advertise them so if you want the link head over to google and type in Ovary! Thats right, Google! Actually, speaking of google, if you want to save some energy, use “Blackle“

-Blackle saves watt time because it uses mainly black pixels, black by definition means no light, and hence uses less energy.
-Blackle’s search quality can be considered slightly lower then Google, but if you are doing a specific search, it works perfectly.

There are a couple of downsides though- But not major downsides!

-Blackle does not show links to “Google images/gmail/video/ect.)
-Blackle does not have the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button
-Blackle does not offer in other languages (as far as I know.)

And it saves energy, therefore cuts down on your electricity bills. Because if its saving energy, nobody cares. If its saving money, THE WORLD IS AT STAKE! I’m no mathematician, but it does save a hefty amount of energy compared to Google and the other google variations.

However, this only saves power if you use a CRT monitor. On LCD it uses more power.

a few bland reasons why to RSS Feed me

Hopefully the RSS feed button works, but some reasons why you should RSS feed me instead of checking me every so often-

1. It’s easier.
2. You use valuable time to check my blog which you could be using searching /t/ or /b/
3. it somehow puts less pressure onto me to post- as I know people might come here looking for a post while if you had RSS I would be content knowing nobody looks at this.
4. It’s really simple, providing the RSS works!
5. I don’t have any more reasons

Alright, alright, another post.

Before I start, the long wait was because my internet severely broke, but anywho….

I got a nifty £20 HMV voucher, and I plan to buy either Burnout or FEAR 2. I played the demo of FEAR 2 because it didn’t take eternity to download like Burnout, and it worked when it did download. Quite good, and I like the graphics. The engine, not so much, but the graphics are quite smooth yet dark.

On the other hand, as much as I loved burnout on the ol’ PS2, the fact that the routes aren’t set, meaning slightly less explosions might make the game a bit bland, especially with keyboard controls. GRID wore thin very, very fast because instead of me frantically enjoying twiddling my thumbs very quickly to make swift manoevers, using a keyboard meant I was leaning back, bored, counting the laps. Also, it was far too easy. Really, I played on the hardest difficulty and it was still to easy.

Not to mention the amount of germans on multiplayer, it was almost as bad as Counterstrike…

More news, I got new speakers, Creative T3100s, and I like them because they look quite pretty, and the base is sublime. I could give them a proper review like people do for speakers, but who the hell cares about how they’re packaged?

Bad news, I accidentally somehow deleted my whole French GCSE folder. The entire thing. Lucky some of it is saved onto my memory stick. I swapped to Opera after Firefox proved why it’s the safest browser to use- It crashes 6/10 times for no reason.

Seems like right now I’m not posting anything interested, i’m just rambling on about things I’ve done and plan to do. So I need to go down to the shops and buy some deoderant and shampoo, and some blu-tack.

Yup, definitely just rambling. But I came up with this very interesting question, Does it count as child porn if you photoshop a child’s head onto a legal person’s nude body?

Ponder that one through while I gander on about other things. I desperately need to buy the two newest futurama mini-movies, Into the Wild Green Yonder, and Bender’s Game. Then I can review them. Hopefully it will be better then Beast With A Billion Backs, which was only mildly amusing. I give it a 5/10 for my ridiculously high standards!

So I apologise for this boring post which isn’t a review, or anything remotely readable, but hopefully I might have something good soon. such as some of my photography if anyone likes to look at pictures.

When was the last time I posted properly about Video Games?

PC games have been starved of oxygen on my PC gaming blog.

This ends here. For today atleast anyway. TF2 Update! Everyone’s posting about it, but seeing as my favourite character who happens to be in my banner is getting an update bound to ruin him, just like everyone else, I thought i’d post on him. Weirdly enough, he’s my favourite class, but my 4th most played as class. Later on I’ll take a picture of my stats. However…. This is the first change they have planned, and I thank valve for making it so easy to save image as.

Well, interesting weapon were my first words.

My second words are: OH NO, IS THIS THE END OF BOINKING?

It going to change the way the scout plays as. When I use the scouts melee weapon, it tends to be on dozy snipers because to be honest, if i’m close enough to kill with a melee weapon, I stick with the scattergun as it does more damage closeup. This is going to inspire some interesting hit and run tactics, in particular for the CTF game modes. I’ll test this one out on 2fort. Hopefully this is going to work like Sasha/Natascha, as alternatives to how you want to play, not like the Syringegun/Blutsauger. Not many people stick with the Syringegun.

If the scout wields this new bat (the Sandman) he loses his double jump ability. That makes it fair, not like when the Backburner came out. If I get stunned, it does sound annoying, but probably about as annoying as when you get hit by Natascha, or air blasted back. And hopefully people who play as scouts will enjoy double jumping (like I do) not just sit on the sniper battlements of 2fort, hurling thier tender white balls at the enemy snipers.

Sexual Innuendo implied.

And perhaps pyros can airblast the balls back? If you can spam balls though…..hruurrrr….  Anyway, Valve also slightly changed the ways critical hits work. Now they claim they’re more “skill based” not pot luck. Which is good because I hate having a heavy on heavy war, and only losing because he gets a nice roll of crits.

Still, they didn’t take my idea of a plank with a rusty nail in . You would hit someone with the plank, and they’d get tetanus, and bleed a trail of blood for effect, but also slowly drains thier health as if they’re on fire. And it can vary from tetanus, to rabies, to Diptheria. Boink!

You can see the other forthcoming updates (on the TF2 site) until next Tuesday, where the pack is released for this planet.

Now you too can be a nazi and deny entry to the land of the free.

Thanks to http://www.blueservo.net/ You can watch live video streams all day, and keep an eye out for illegal immigrants and drug smuggling. Texas has become a big brother state. I registered, and thanks to Opera being the lost reject of the internet browsers, I have to resort back to IE..again to use it. I registered, because those Big Brother Commie Texans want to know everything about everyone, but of course with false credentials. Bringing up a dirty piece of history in those yanks past, I’m under the pseudonym of Jim Crow. Age 25.

But before I started, I want to pedantically analyze the banner.

The guy on the computer…either has poor eyesight or is a bloody no-lifing cock. Just look at his stance… If you were watching the same patch of land all day you’d be mildly bored. Next up, is the stereotype “sneaky” posed group in a single-file line. It needs classic pinkpantheresque musak to go with it. And then theres just the canal of Texas. Moving on.

hmmm…Which camera to choose…they make it like a game..  ”Camera 161
This area is known of illegal drug activity. If you see people crossing the water in this area please report activity.”

“Camera 898
During the day watch for subjects on foot carrying large bags. During the night time hours watch for activity involving lights from the middle of the screen to the bottom.”

I picked Camera 185, because it was a nice camera shot with good centering. So i’m watching right now. Nothing’s happening. Still nothing.Wait… Wait…. OH MY GOD!! RIGHT THERE! CONTACT THE KKK OR WHOEVER RUNS THIS SITE!! Oh…wait. That’s a tree. Nothing here, this is boring. Lets pick this one, where I must report anything happening from right to left. Well, it does look bloody hot down there, I can see the heatwaves. And it’s an extremely misty camera too. However… THERE’S A PORTALOO, THERE’S A DAMN DIRTY MEXICAN IN THERE! STOP HIM! (Sorry, Mexican people.)

Now to report this info. “Report suspicious activities button.” It tells me to describe what I witnessed. This is what I wrote, despite it being a lie.

A mexican guy walking from left to right (individual.) He looked pretty bad off, surely you can let just the one in? I know us Brits have little in common with you yanks down south in Texas, and it’s unlikely you even know where any other country is on the map, but you guys have spirit, and if you have even the slightest shred of human decency towards your fellow man, you would let him through. He could get a job as a bartender or something, that boosts the economy which you jerks have buggered up for the whole world, putting us all into recession and all.

you owe it to us. Muchos Gracias Amigos.  Hopefully I’ll get a better response than when I emailed Boris Johnson.

On TF2, I won’t post about the scout update until I’ve unlocked and tested the weapons, and maybe I’ll document some of the achievments. If there’s a tauntkill one, (which I don’t believe there is) I vow to get it not on an acheivment server, or sleepy sniper.