Pimpdog MillionPimp

I saw it, I liked it, I review it.

It had one of those storylines, but being such a cynic I feel no compassion or need to find love, therefore do not understand it. So perhaps that why I think the story was a bit iffy.

As good as it was, it just wasn’t truly realistic enough. It showed a teensy bit what it’s like in an Indian slum, but alot of it wasn’t real enough.  Like how forgiving the main character was.

Infact, the main charactar was appauling. He just sat there with a whitewashed blank face throughout the whole bloody movie. But perhaps I disliked it because of the first reason? I really hated Wall-E because I knew robots don’t feel love, and wouldn’t be able to survive the vast vacuum of space, but people shunned me for that reason.

Fuck them, Pixar screwed up with that one! And it was just rehashing old material for crying out loud. Wall-E (because it’s not wally) is a made-over version of Beauty and the Beast, and Lady and the Tramp.

Fucking Disney, and now they’ve come out with Beverly Hills Chihuaha. They have some sort of dog obsession….Bloody furries.

So I dunno, if you have ever felt anything which can be transcribed as warmth to a fellow human being, go see Slumdog Millionaire. Seeing as I only love myself and my cat, it wasn’t too long. And I couldn’t truly enjoy the whole film because I thought it was one of the teachers at my school sitting directly infront of me throughout. Luckily it was just a lookalike. (possibly identical twin?!)

Lets get down to moosic. Do you like jazz, but think it’s no longer as cool as it once was, all the pioneers kicking the bucket, and it needs some sort of revamp? Well, look no further dear friends, I introduce ye to Soil and “PIMP” Sessions. If you don’t spell thier name like that, its not them. They’re japanese, and have livened up the old scene of the dark blues club, where you lean back in your chair comfortably bopping your head ever so slightly. They have 3 proper albums- Planet Pimp, Pimp Master, and Pimpoint. As you can see, they love pimps. Difficult to find stuff, so if you’re feeling risky and want to risk £10, go for it off Amazon, Pimpoint is probably my favourite album, and it has a gloriously remastered version of MArk Murphy’s classic “Red Clay.”

If you don’t you could drive a knife through the heart of the music industry, but you’d have to find some certain websites. However then you’d be a PIRATE and have to keep the police at BAY.

Following the Trend

Big Note: Not all blogs run by teenagers are how I described below. For example, a good blog I like to read is this one. I read it because the writer obviously has some style and wit to put the lyrics of a Gil Scott Heron song in his blog. There’s also J-mans blog which I can’t spell properly.

Following the trend of many other angsty, whiny blogs run by pretentious fellow teenagers, whining on about why thier lives are unbearable and they have distressing problems which can only be solved by wearing too much mascara and immensely tight jeans, I have also decided to make a post on the internet, expecting people to care. Yes, doing what they do, i’m going to post a song which I like lyrics.

“I don’t want help with my problems, I want to suffer alone but make sure everyone knows about it!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I01sWilEe_Q

That’s the song, and here are the lyrics!

 

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Well, it was a split up between either that trendy broken beats/ Nu Jazz song, or Living in the Sunlight by Tiny Tim. hmm…Wouldn’t that be hilarious if a typical whiny person described as above, compared his life to Tiny Tim’s upbeat song?

Tinselworm

Bill Bailey is performing down in Shaftsbury avenue, at the Gielgud, which is a neat little theatre next to the long running Les Miserables. I really enjoyed it overall, especially when he said “My neighbors at Les Miserables complain sometimes, that the dramatic french revolutionary scene is ruined by a faint background noise of fun and happiness, and a sing-a-long of La Bamba.”  Yes, I learned the lyrics to la bamba. Now I don’t just need to hum

It involved many different things- Serbian moustaches on Jeremy Paxman, David Cameron dancing, The Star Wars Imperial March played in a gospel format, and Nazi Gold. I plan to try walking into UBS one day and asking to open an account with…. NAAZI GOOOLD. Its a show I would consider seeing again, because its a comedy act but with rehearsed (and musical) material. For example, he said Australia in a joke, and 5 people (below me) “Wooooed” (if thats the word to describe the wooing noise) and he went on a short trail about Australia, and an amusing story about one time he was in Perth. I don’t quite remember how we got there, but for some reason the A303 road was a mini reocurring joke throughout. I liked how he used the Theremin too, the coolest yet most unloved intrument of them all.

For me, When he did his musical bits, it made the show that much more engaging because it was so relatable “I never quite understood emo music…” Well, because I doubt any of you are actually going to see Tinselworm, I’m going to ruin what he did. Some gentle (depressed) piano music about a Starbucks employee (who possibly self-harms) with some hilarious lyrics, then in breaks into a heavy metal rock headbanging scene, stopped and swapped back to the piano. Funny, funny stuff.

I should probably point out the only flaw I found in it though: Right at the end his keyboard stopped working, and through a small series of laughs, I think he had to miss out an anecdote because of it, but he subtly convinced the audience otherwise with a clever “Weh-hey!” 

Which reminds me, I think Frankie Boyle is overrated. In his standup he just rehashes material off Mock the Week (actually to be honest, all the comedians regurlarly on the show do that) and it tends to be one liners fired off into a bucket of recycled chum. Still, definitely not as bad as Jimmy Carr. He is just, well…Dreary to say the least  So all in all, if he happens to be performing near you- Go and see it The seats at the Gielgud were all pretty good, don’t be fooled by thier plan to get you to buy a £50 ticket in the stalls

And I emplore you to check out my latest and greatest Cheezburger. Its for Punditkitchen I’m currently now working on a secret (British Politics related) project, for YTMND.

Thank you Play.com! /sarcasm

Brilliant! The things which I ordered for my mum off the internet for christmas finally arrived! 22 days late!

But I’m sure she’ll enjoy her unwrapped CD’s of music I don’t particularly like, but I’ll have to grimace and put on a brave face to hear horrific latin-American music pounded out from overpowered speakers. Meanwhile, I’m looking for a new pair of speakers. I could go with a big name brand like Bose, or Sennheiser, but they’re waaaay out of my price range. I’ll do some more investigation.

Onto gaming- I’ve finally, and miraculously gotten GTA IV to work! sort of. If I patch it up, it will slap me in the face with other problems, like refusing to run under the cause that it has  no texture depth, so i’m left only to play single player. Anyway, why is there no anti-aliasing options? Everything has razor sharp edges I’ve done the first mission, but I’m still playing a fair wad of CoDWaW multiplayer. Prestige is great and all for boasting, showing off, and belittling others with incorrect grammar, but when there are servers where you can get 10,000xp per kill, it’s completely meaningless. Anyway, level 9 Prestige has the best badge Here is a table to brighten up my wall of text.

I haven’t even played any Tomb Raider Underworld yet It’s my birthday on the 6th of January, so hopefully i’ll get some money then, so I can waste it all on a mouse with an extra button. Namely… either the Logitech G5, or the Logitech G7. Then again, I’m thinking of not spending any and get some music, as theres a notepad file on the desktop with a list of music I want to buy

As Christmas is done, singing Slade is meaningless. Finally

Merry Christmas to all, but that’s about it.

I have little to say apart from Merry Christmas. My presents included….

Blackadder all season box set, Rowan Atkinson Live, some books ( I like books), Call of Duty world at war, tomb raider underworld, and most importantly…A numark TT USB turntable. So now to rip out all my parents old vinyl, and buy some of my own I’m off to soho to haggle with some backstreet vinyl stores.

So Happy Christmas, and enjoy your turkey, or alternatives if you’re a vegetarian. So that would be some potatoes and….beetroot? 

So far I’ve ripped out the obvious choices, like Earth, Wind and Fire and Stevie Wonder, but i’m choosing a few based on the covers. I found “Electric Light Orchestra” they had a cool, sci-fi looking front cover, and its symphonic rock, which is a pretty nice album. It’s a bit like Pink Floyd’s dark side of the moon, which reminds me, I have to go and buy that one. 

Also, I fear some of my readers are perverts. This is in the “top searches” box. 

Well, I can’t blame you, i’m not for hentai, I prefer real live women, but I can see your side of the argument too.

Meanwhile on Audiosurf

Audiosurf is fun, if you have a mass of music like me. I have roughly 8GB of Music on my PC, which doesn’t seem like alot, and it’s not really, but it’s still enough to spend far too much time on audiosurf. Although I don’t play often, I’ve played a good amount this week because of the 4 songs on the Audiosurf radio. Some new Jonathan Coulton songs!  Chiron Beta Prime is a song which really appeals to me, because Sci-Fi themed things rock. It’s about in the future, robots have enslaved the human race, and are forcing some people to work on a meteor called Chiron Beta Prime, mining all day. But it’s Christmas, and the robots have sent them a pie. (Apparantly he loves his Soylent Green.)

Christmas is Interesting is a neat soft little song, and is quite nice overall, albeit slightly boring :\ But it’s as interesting as a stick in your eye, and I can relate to that song, because some people claim Christmas brings people together. For me and my family, it just exacabates the already hypened dysfunction. Next up, is Podsafe Christmas song, which is so annoying I played it once, and have never played it again. It has some irratating little chipmunks singing to a nursery rhyme themed song, which is almost as painful as when you go to the dentist and he scrapes the crap out from inbetween your teeth, with the sharpest implement known to all of medicine. There’s a handy amount of mods for Audiosurf too, and all of them almost work!

Finally, there’s a slightly less themed song, about Ikea, which is not bad, but not brilliant. It doesn’t adress the issue that everything Ikea sells is crap which is so shoddy it breaks in the car journey home. However it does point out that everything has a funny and weird name, which is truer then true pie which has been left outside to become more true, and presented in court on a base of trueosity. I’ve been watching alot of House recently, because i’ve found a website where I can watch it, as opposed to waiting for it to be on TV once or twice a week, when I normally miss.

…And as the L4D demo runs out-

I reflect upon the past 4 days i”ve played, enjoyed and said “WHAT? Your mic is way too weak, turn it up or somthing!”

Yep, that game is brilliant. I ordered it from play.com ages ago, because it was cheaper then steam. Lets hope they don’t fuck up like they did with Dead Space. (Which still hasn’t arrived)

I just hope that a) I can play the second level without crashing (apparently it’s a common problem) and b) theres a server browser without me having to add things into the console. Just because xbox people can’t choose thier server, doesn’t mean we have to suffer too. I’ve had to play on crap servers, with abysmal lag because I couldn’t choose my own server.

So on the subject of music, I  have made a music post, which is weird because whenever I play any game, I tend to have music on. I wanted to share an old song, but a song many of you (and by many i refer to the few people who actually read what I post) that I really, really like.

Because the music I like is difficult to get ahold of, expensive, and requires a record player, (and I don’t own a record player……yet,) I just use LastFM because it has most songs, for free and you can listen to single songs without downloading them off limewire. Normally when I play games though, I have either one of my own playlists on or the BBC Radio Iplayer on because sometimes LastFM will stop for no apparent reason. But back to the main point, the song, is this. To play it just hit the big play button in the small box to the right. If you want to know the genre for the music, it boxes into Electro-jazz/ Nu-Jazz and Broken Beats.

Moving swiftly on, I finished the single player in Far Cry 2 the other day, (and I have played multiplayer, but the maps suck and the whole game mode is confusing and unexplained; at least Crysis’s power struggle game mode was explained, and once you learn it, it’s great) and if you haven’t finished, I don’t want to give any spoilers, just make sure you kill all you’re friends, all you’re employers, and infact, have the AI’s approach. If it moves, kill it. 

I also thought it was particularly stupid how at the very end, it gives a kind of movie like synopsis/finish. Yes, fine, I like the idea of the blue pill/red pill moment of choosing dynamite or diamonds, but I don’t understand why the guy who takes the diamonds has to shoot himself in the head. Perhaps all the characters talk too fast. OHWAITTHEYDO. But the final moments of martyrdom we’re ruined as I had just read J-man’s review of Madagascar 2, and trekking through the final dramatic part of the jungle with an essence of melancholy and completion, was ruined by me continously imagining that rabied-infested lemur you’re greeted with when you open up J-man’s review. 

So when I get left 4 dead, I plan to review it day by day, piece by piece, because I hate writing massive chunks/blocks of text, which is too imtimidating to read anyway.