No posts in just under two months. This isn’t because I’m dead, or I’ve given up writing, infact, I enjoy writing, and occasionally maths! (Except circle theorem.) No, it has simply been due to my sheer apathy and laziness. I don’t want a career in journalism, writing, or anything near that area of expertise, and so this made me have no drive or push to write. However, I want to keep writing simply for the few people who do read this, and intense rivalry (And unfortunately not a friendly kind) for a particular someone, despite the odds being low that he/she/it reads this. But that guy knows who he is.

So allow me to update you on what interesting bits i’ve been doing.

Nothing. I got back into Mass Effect, then back out of it, bought and begun Fallout 3, bought Deus Ex, haven’t started it yet, completed Plants vs Zombies, getting killing floor relatively soon, and an xbox 360, just to play with a few mates casually and the exclusives which us PC Aryans can’t get, like RE5 and Gears of War 2. And of course, Guitar Hero.

That’s what i’ve been up to. I’m considering moving to Blogspot or a different blogging thing, as wordpress is somewhat crap and fails to upload any of my pictures, therefore making each post a chore to read. Honestly, it’s worse then my cooking. (Everything I cook goes wrong somehow. I misinterpretted a chocolate cake recipe once and accidentally added 3 tablespoons of baking soda as opposed to 3 tea spoons. The cake didn’t even cook and I left it in the garden for some pigeons.)

I have twitter if you’re slightly interested in my shorter ramblings and spoutings of stuff, and I update that more regularly because it’s not boring to use like WordPress. My final words before I go and do something or the other, is that If this blog goes down, I’ll atleast have the dignity to post.  I wish I had a picture to put in this post BUT IT WON’T FREAKIN’ UPLOAD D:

Two games I’ve played recently, Bioshock and Dead Space. Neither have scared me. A couple have startled me, when let’s say a necromorph or splicer leapt up at me when it looked dead, but not scared me. According to Wiktionary, the fancy man’s dictionary, the definition of frighten is: To disturb with fear; to throw into a state of alarm or fright; to affright; to terrify.

They’ve startled me, in a brief installment of fear, but not frighten me, in a continued state. Maybe I’m just too dead inside to be frightened, or maybe I’m not absorbed into the game enough. Probably the latter. Because when I played Bioshock, or play Dead Space, especially Dead Space as it’s third person, I don’t feel like i’m there in the game, I feel tuned out, because I’m looking over someone’s shoulder commanding him. If my character is low on health, i’m not worried because I know I can just load if I die.

Bioshock as a first person, is slightly different, but in general it wasn’t frightening. It was definitely confusing though, when Andrew Ryan [Warning: MASSIVE, GARGANTUAN SPOILERS FOR BIOSHOCK] makes you kill him, honestly, what’s the point and why? The script was good too, but not scary, because I knew had I the superhuman powers to melt everyone in my path and enough placcids to turn a goat into some biochemical super mutant. [/END OF SPOILERS.]

I now must describe a typical scene is bioshock, as Imageshack won’t let me upload pictures.

Dead Big Daddy. 7 Medkits, 7 Plasmid syringes left.  Enough ammo to take on the Kremlin. $300. Easy, easy stuff. Especially once you get the chemical thrower, and some electric gel, Big Daddies are as easier then having mutually consented sex with a bagel.

Dead Space at the moment, I’m on chapter 5,  just starting, so the best bits are to come apparently. There have been some brilliantly atmospheric bits so far, setting the scene. The scene in Chapter 2 where you slowly go down stairs, hearing a dulled repeated knocking sound, expecting a necromorph to leap up and start slashing your face into a bloody pool on the floor, is flawlessly done. When you finally turn that corner to see what’s causing the knocking sound, is a scene I won’t forget because of how well it was done.

However one thing I have noticed I’ve been doing in dead space is to constantly hold down the scopes whenever I turn a corner, just incase. That doesn’t constitute fear does it?

IN REALTIME, TOO!

Just before the race started, too late to change my bet… My horse’s odds jumped from 66-1 to 100-1.

SHIT. But it’s not the end of the world, the horse which won today was 100-1.

THEY’RE OFF. My horse is coming up the back apparently… I’m 4th..ish. But being overtaken. Bollocks. And City Theatre is doing well. Fuck.

As you can see, gambling makes me swear alot.

Now I’m 7th place. FUCK FUCK FUCK. KEEP GOING. OR ATLEAST BEAT THAT BASTARD CITY THEATRE.

Saviero is doing well. oooo, I think I’m catching up. YES. CITY THEATRE IS DOING BAD. Saviero could win, it’s leading now.

COCKMUNCHERFUCKNIBBLES. We’re doing badly. I’ve lost my horse too, TALK ABOUT CAESAR’S RETURN. NOBODY CARES ABOUT LIDAR.

Sitting Tennant won at 66-1 atleast. Let’s hit refresh on the page to see how badly I did. Lucky Him. I didn’t even think about that one. Will have results in 60 seconds….

So this year, there were some big winners. 100-1, 66-1 and 66-1 again. And why are they talking about having Curry for Dinner on the Coral Aintree betting radio. GIVE ME MY RESULTS. STOP TALKING YOU FUCKING PIKEES.

Ah here we go.  … … ..

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU

Yes, very big whoop. Words cannot describe how disgruntled I am for not betting. The horse which won, was at 100-1, so if I was smart enough to bet £10 on that horse, I would have won £1000. The internet’s gritty times new roman font can’t do any justice to how rage-ridden I am for forgetting. I wouldn’t have minded betting and losing, because atleast I kept up my yearly tradition of betting…

So, as a replacement, I’ve just stuck £5 each way on Caesar’s Return for the 5.35pm at Aintree, coming in at 66-1. My mind says bet on City Theatre, because odds are decent, and it’s quite similar to Caesar’s Return kit wise and horse-wise…But my gut and heart say Caesar’s Return. So Caesar’s Return it is!

Now, City Theatre may be Irish, and i’ve always had good luck with Irish horses, but…Caesar’s Return…Has a good feeling.

Infact, maybe I should have bet on both. too late now, 12 minutes to go.

Come on Caesar’s Return, because I will be thoroughly pissed off if you lose. And bear in mind, I’m already thoroughly pissed off for missing the main Grand National. I’ll post back to see whether I won or lost.

Yup, very shortly after the severe blunder of the scout update, here comes the first sniper update. Yet another fucking consumable. Sort of.

But will this update make him any more effective against a spy? I hope not because that would suck. In place of his Kukri, he should get a little piece of metal, like all snipers get, to shine into people’s eyes and blind them. Or some sort of decoy, like a paper cut out of a sniper. It makes more sense then the sniper decoy spray.

I ordered Dead Space, as it’s now at a sweet and harmonious price of £12, lets hope it bloody arrives this time. Might get Men of War, and Might get Empire: Total War, seeing as I don’t have a good RTS excluding World in Conflict, and I doubt i’ll get the expansion for that.

I played a buttload of Guitar Hero: World Tour over the weekend, possibly far, FAR too much, but it was worth it. And I feel like I didn’t play enough. That was fun. So all in all, maybe for the next update, we’ll get our new gamemode we were promised, and we’ll get our “meet the” video.

But more then anything else, I’m hoping we don’t get a crap class pack, which fucks up the whole game. Again.

EDIT: Oh bollocks. That could have been an april fool’s joke. Well it’s the second today, so it doesn’t count.

I’m no movie critic. Nor do I care about stupid French film festivals, where the winner tends to be some mind-numbing dramatic piece of crap, where nobody talks but everyone pretends to. I found “You Don’t Mess With The Zohan” funny. In my defense it’s because most of it is true, and being Jewish and have cousins in Israel I can see how true it is.  Adam Sandler may have been in it, but damnit, it was good! The accent was spot on.

But moving away from comedies which many people don’t get, I saw a trailer for a comedy people will get. I like politics, don’t ask why, so a comedy film about politics sounds good to me. The icing on the cake is the fact that it’s a British comedy, meaning it won’t have those pesky Americans failing humor by slipping penis jokes into everything, penetrating the rules of comedy.

And raping wit.

I also like it because it appears to have Frank Skinner in, and he’s good in Have I Got News For You. Anyway, when does HIGNFY start again? My life feels bland and meaningless without it. So without further rambling off the subject, here is the trailer, and don’t take my word for it, think for yourself.

See? Not bad Anyway, FRAPS decided not to save my Bioshock pictures, so i’ll snap up as much as possible before I finish it, although it keeps giving me Snow…Which is bloody irratating as it doesn’t autosave. I bought Red Orchestra for £2.99 and to be honest, even at the price, it’s not worth it. And finally, I might give Crysis: Warhead a brief run through for the thousanth time, because it’s pretty

The reason why I’ve done no posts for a while, is because I have nothing to post on…

So i’ve ripped out good ol’ worms armegeddon for old times sake which I’ll play a tad, and I just installed Bioshock. I’m borrowing it off my brother in law, and although extremely old, and everyone’s played it, I’ll write about it in a way nobody has written about it before! And that will win me originality points!

Until then…Here is an advice dog generator to keep you amused.

I just wish my battlefield heroes thingy would be accepted

It’s likely i’m going to buy a new game soon though, I just haven’t been bothered. And a sound card. Mine has been stuttering recently a little bit…

Will post later, this will have to do for now. Done by me a couple of weeks ago. Scratched because its negatives not good colour photography…

Meanwhile, the landscape photos are all squished together.

Before I’m back to the monotony of non-gaming news. Where’s our “meet the” video and new gamemode we were promised? Anyway, I disliked all the acheivments, the one where you have to double jump 1000 times for example. Why not just be honest and say “Hit spacebar 2000 times”?

So I did get all the achievments, but I’m most proud of the fact  I got the tauntkill one, on 2fort, not planned at all. However, allowing the consumer to do a vote on which item comes out first was stupid, it meant you had to do a pile of annoying grindy acheivments to unlock the weapons, which make up 70% of the rest of the acheivments.

Still, it beats those cockwhores who chose to use an unlocker.

“Spies can now control which weapon the enemy team sees them holding. Hitting the “last disguise” key while disguised updates the disguise to show the Spy’s currently held weapon.” In the patch.

It’s a simple move, but just…no…

Now it’s too easy to be a spy. Also, most of these achievments are too difficult to get in general. But i’ll comment on them more later.